Wanking Disasters Part IIDespite the warnings contained in our previous question on The Act of Onan, you all still appear to be masturbating like monkeys in a zoo. Tell us your stories of jerking the gherkin and double-clicking the mouse.
Suggested by Mrs Entity and DaveExclamationMark, voted for by YOU
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 12:22)
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The first few timesI didn't have a clue what I was doing. I would roll it between my hands as if making a long sausage shape with plasticine. It took so long I gave up thinking "Is that it?"
Then one day my mate showed me some mags he'd found on top of his dad's wardrobe. After looking through the alarmingly grotesque pictures, I started reading one of the stories. Then I read the line "..her hand moving faster and faster up and down my glistening shaft.." or something of similar poetic excrement. Hmm, thought I.
That night, I had a bath and managed 4 or 5 before the water went cold.
Actually that's quite a good euphemism. "Sorry darling, it's not you, it's just the water went cold"
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sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 1:22,
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