I'm an accountant
And to the uninitiated, you'd think most accountants are the same: dull, pedantic and secret sexual deviants (not the good sort).

In some ways you'd be right, but here are a few extra foibles from colleagues, past and present, to brighten your day.

The first accountant I met had worked in a prison as a younger man and witnessed the last execution there. In my interview with him we had a blazing row about the validity of the death penalty. He gave me the job!

The second accountant I worked for hated his own boss and so put milk in his peppermint tea, small revenge.

The third accountant I worked for was a woman-hating, racist! He was proud to vote BNP in the last elections and grinned whilst making me redundant. He got sacked 3 months later.

The fourth accountant I worked with seemed nice at first, after a few months he lost the ability to speak or turn up anywhere on time. It got so bad that a colleague asked where he was, and we realised we hadn't seen him for over a week. He wasn't on holiday, he just couldn't be arsed to come in.

I currently work with 4 other accountants. Only one of them is normal (apart from me - Meh!)

Accountant 1 - repeats everything. She's a bit deaf and is always saying "Wha? Wha?" She's constantly moaning about her water retention and cries when she doesn't get her own way

Accountant 2 - get stroppy when someone doesn't understand what he's saying, even though he constantly mumbles and ALWAYS looks at someone other than who he is actually addressing. It's not like he's got bozz-eyes or anything. He's just a meph!

Accountant 3 - loves his job so much, if you ask him how he is, he'll tell you how great the company is, how much he's earning and which senior manager's cock he has sucked that day. If you don't ask, he looks only at his screen, fingers going like a squid.

Accountants are prize-winning, weirdy bastards!
(Jugular, Thu 24 Jan 2008, 11:48, 1 reply)

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(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Sun 27 Jan 2008, 23:58, closed)