Martina




She was the biggest slacker in the company, always on the web, on the phone to her mates, umpteen fag breaks, pulled sickies nearly every week and would loudly proclaim how little work she'd done and the various wheezes she'd pulled to avoid doing any.

Then, as is the way of fuckwitted management cunts, they promoted her to line manager. Apparently, it doesn't matter how much of a hopeless case you are as long as you can wave a bit of A4 with "Congratulations! You passed Management 101 via our night classes" writ large upon it.

So, we now entered a living hell of "Do as I say and not as I do" style of management. Quiet words were for losers as real managers stood up in the middle of the floor, pointed at some poor soul and screamed "Oi! Mary, you fucking spackhead! You're a waste of space and you know it loser!" Toilet breaks were timed and arrival and leaving times were noted for any tardiness or leaving early and all was written to her Filofax.

I was asked to join her team and, because I couldn't think of an excuse fast enough, got lumbered with two week's holiday cover. We got on alright, I just counted the hours and days until I could escape and tried to avoid her steely gaze. I was working away one evening, bailing out the cunt as per usual when she couldn't meet her deadlines, when I noticed a reflection in my window. I put my head down and kept working but noticed it again. I quickly turned around to catch the ever lovely Martina giving what had been my back the finger with a side order of full-on belming. She went bright red, coughed and suddenly found the contents of her handbag extremely interesting before bolting for the door. I heard afterwards, through one of her 'trustees', that she felt I was making her look bad with my sterling efforts at bailing her out as the two week 'blip' of me being on the team would point out the shiteness of the rest of the project.

Not that it mattered as, if anyone from higher up had a word about her attitude or management skills, she'd adopt the Violet Elizabeth Bott approach and scream and stamp her foot in a tantrum until they gave in - which was always.

I'd like to say there was a happy ending and she got her comeuppance but no - she's still there as far as I know while myself and nearly everyone else I knew there is long gone.
(Fanta Menace Is tall enough to see over the fence, Thu 24 Jan 2008, 12:56, 2 replies)

There's nothing better
than catching someone mong-facing you. Other than getting away with mong-facing them of course
(Jugular, Thu 24 Jan 2008, 13:38, closed)

what a charmer
and how ironic that you should catch her doing it to you when it was clearly her who should have been the recipient...
(Siouxfan I'm not staring at you, I am just short sighted, Thu 24 Jan 2008, 13:43, closed)