b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Bastard Colleagues » Post 116334 | Search
This is a question Bastard Colleagues

You've all known one. The brown-nosing fucker, the 'comedian', the drunk, the gossip and of course the weird one with no mates who goes bell ringing, looks like Mr Majika and sports a monk's haircut (and is a woman).

Tell us about yours...

Thanks to Deskbound for the idea

(, Thu 24 Jan 2008, 9:09)
Pages: Latest, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, ... 1

« Go Back

Colin
I used to work with a fat bloke. Now we've all seen someone who's enjoyed the pies too much but this guy was clinical. He had walking sticks, presumeably because he's knees couldn't take it otherwise. His navel hung between his knees, he was so fat it was a disability.

But that wasn't what was so bad about him....
It was the smell.

Not just any smell. You could forgive him if there was a "I just farted" odour in the air, but this was nasty. It was kinda vinegary. The stench of stale sweat in the folds on the back of his neck and other places made it so unpleasant to be anywhere near him. I kid you not it actually stung your eyes like onions.

It was so bad we gave him his own office... at the other end of the main office.... and through some double doors. We were that keen to distance ourselves from him.

If he needed to talk to you he'd phone up and get you to come to him as he knew by the time he'd walked to your desk you'd have gone home for the day.

Trouble was, he was on a contract. And like any cow that's already on the truck to the slaughterhouse he knew he was fucked when that contract expired.

So he applied for every and any IT job that came up. The company was large so this was probably about 1 vacancy per fortnight. Then he'd play the disability card.

I mean he applied for a job installing microwave network antennas as part of a networking project. We needed a man to climb ladders up church towers and other tall buildings then delicately wire up the equipment... the man had fingers like thick sausages! He couldn't even wire up his shoe laces, he had velcro for fucks sake!

So upon not getting the job, as always, he asked for the feedback from the interview to double check he wasn't knocked back on account of his size, as that would be discrimination etc.

That was 8 years ago and if he's not died of a heart attack by now I'd be astonished.

If you're an employer, for gods sake steer clear of anyone too fat for their own good. It'll cost you hundreds just for a re-inforced chair!
(, Fri 25 Jan 2008, 11:03, 5 replies)
...
There was a guy at the gym of which I used to be a member who was fat like that - and he smelled pretty rancid, too. He had to be let into the changing-room via a staff entrance, because he couldn't negotiate the steps.

In fairness, though, I suppose that he was at least taking responsibility for his size by being a member of the gym in the first place, so I do have a certain amount of respect for the guy.

There'd have been no problems with size-ism, by the way - it sounds like the guy's size was an impediment to his meeting the requirements that could reasonably be expected. The law can accommodate that. On the other hand, if the job only required sitting at a desk, he'd be on firmer ground.

He'd have to be. Otherwise it'd buckle underneath him.
(, Fri 25 Jan 2008, 11:25, closed)
I often wonder
when I see grossly obese people in wheelchairs, whether they were disabled and have become obese through the inability to move around and burn off calories, or if they've just become so fat they can't walk anymore and have become disabled.

Then I come to the conclusion that, either way, they've eaten too much at some point.
(, Fri 25 Jan 2008, 11:56, closed)
@K2k6
It's like fat council house residents. Are they fat because they can't afford decent food, or are they poor because they spend all of their otherwise-substantial income on pies?




I'm the incarnation of political correctness gone mad special, me...
(, Fri 25 Jan 2008, 13:56, closed)
also @ k262
i became disabled as a teenager. take it from me, no matter what you eat, having to spend 6 months at a time completely bedridden will pile weight on you faster than the morgan spurlock diet.
(, Sat 26 Jan 2008, 4:56, closed)
K2K6: wheelchair fatties
Yeah I often wonder that too.

A while back I downloaded a photo-chopped sign of a disabled parking space with a fatty in the chair with the immortal words:
"Fat is not disabled, park elsewhere and walk you lazy bastard!".

I've been daring myself to print it and place on car windscreens for ages.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 14:38, closed)

« Go Back

Pages: Latest, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, ... 1