Slightly off topic, but must get off chest
Not colleagues as such. One of my duties as a phd student is to be a demonstrator in undergraduate lab sessions. It's not normally too bad and gives me a bit of extra cash to keep me in the pub.

The lab sessions I've been teaching are computer programming. Basically the undergrads work their way through a long exercise sheet to learn C++, and we're on hand to answer their questions.

Just so they've all got a computer and our undivided attention, we reserve a small room next to the main computing room. Of course, when the main room gets busy, undergrads will occasionally try and sneak in, log on to a computer and fanny around on facebook/youtube/amazon/etc. Normally, when we catch them, they leave without a fuss. No problem.

The ones that get my back up are the ones who assume this "I-know-better-than-you" voice and say: "So I've got to leave, even though there's blatantly lots of computers free?"

I know there are computers free. I can see that. That's not the fucking point. If we let all you smart-arse fuckers in here, it would be a free-for-all and we'd never be able to spot the lab students who needed our help*. Don't talk to me like I'm a fucking idiot and get your cuntish, know-it-all, arse for a face out of my fucking lab.

I swear, if I get one more retort like that from one of the little bastards, I will not be held repsonsible for my actions. Nor will I provide any assistance in removing the keyboard from the rectum of the student in question.

Apologies for length and extreme rantiness, but I do feel better for that. Thank you for your patience.

*_{I provide help in theory, at any rate...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 25 Jan 2008, 12:08, 3 replies)

Pfffft
I approve. (Even though I did that plenty of times last year.)
Thoch. Kids of today, eh? Don't know what they're missing.
dave Fucking wark, for example. (And yes, that is capitalised correctly.)


So you're now one of the useless demonstators that don't help now. This also makes me giggle.

Shouldn't the ones that need your help have their hands up, thus making them easier to spot?
(Bearded Whumpus In chav Britain, schoolgirl offers sweets to YOU!, Fri 25 Jan 2008, 13:00, closed)

amen!
This is why I stay at home with my programming tools installed, a pc that I know works well, my assignments downloaded from the web portal and a list of friendly software developers on my MSN list.

It's bloody irritating when you can't get a machine or the uni network grinds to a halt whilst the labs and library are full of 1st years watching streams of the mighty boosh.

GET A DAMN TV LICENCE BEFORE A FINAL YEAR STUDENT BEATS YOU TO DEATH WITH HIS HALF FINISHED DISSERTATION!

*ahem*

Length? about 10 weeks to go now...
( Sack Sack - Norfolks laziest, Fri 25 Jan 2008, 14:13, closed)

I sympathise entirely
Had the same damn problem last year - my dissertation was a computational project, and I was eventually forced to do nearly all my work for it at home* due to - you guessed it - twats who could see that there was high demand for computers, but had decided their browsing of Youtube had some kind of bloody priority.

I kind of hope that one of the undergrads in question will read this post. It would be nice to strike a little fear into them, as they'll hopefully never work out which demonstrator is going to be waiting to defenestrate them at the first sign of answering back...

_{*fair enough; I prefer my free, open source C compiler to the clunky version of MS visual studio the college computers had**
**Yes, I'm fully aware of how sad that makes me.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 25 Jan 2008, 14:34, closed)