Cameron C Gray (The full story)
Ok due to public demand (well 2 replies) I'll tell the story.....

When I first met this guy I thought he was some bizarre offspring of Jeanette Krankie and Beth Ditto with the physique of Violet Beauregard (after the chewing gum incident). His voice was the vocal equivalent of running fingernails down a backboard. A real stereotypical cartoon 'geek'. His wardrobe consisted of numerous identical tracksuit bottoms and sweatshirt tops (usually emblazoned with the Disney logo). His stories were more outlandish than that of Baron Munchausen and caused much hilarity amongst his workmates in the office.

1. He alleged he was born deaf and that his visual accuity was second to none because of this. He alleged he could see speed cameras far into the distance (and around corners).

2. At school he alledged that he and his 'friends' built a laser out of 2 million pounds worth of rubies which had been donated to the school. This laser once completed destroyed a wall.

3. On a skiing holiday in the USA he alledged that he was apprehended by the 'ski police' for speeding and subsequently beating the (at the time) SUPER-G record by minutes.

4. He constantly contradicted himself when referring to the old boys school he attended after claiming he had 'girlfriends' there.

This already may sound like quite a jolly fellow with tall tales to keep us amused. let me tell you I have worked with bosses from hell, colleagues from hell and even temps from hell but none of them compare to this guy. The timbre of his voice alone set my stress levels soaring.

Also his eating habits were consistent, consistent with that of a warthog let loose in Sainsburys. He gorged on food and was the noisest eater you have ever heard.
Daily Diet:
Breakfast: MacDonalds breakfast x2
Bar of dairy milk (big one)
can of coke

Lunch:
Macdonalds chicken nuggets (16)
large fries
large coke
big mac
cheeseburger

No idea what he had after 5:30 (maybe thats for the best).

The guy also drove without a licence. He claimed he had passed his test with flying colours but the DVLA computer had crashed and lost his details.

Anyway the good thing was that he was only with us 3 months which was 2 months and 30 days too long in my opinion.
(Celtican is 10! Old school or what?, Fri 25 Jan 2008, 13:41, 1 reply)

Fat Bastard
I worked with one of those called Barry.

Mind you, IT is rampant with those sort of junkfood scarfing blubber mountains.

Barry used to go to the local Mucky D's at lunchtime every day, order the family meal and then scoff it all while sitting in his car out in the company car park. Apparently, he used to scoff it all at his desk until everybody else complained about the stench and the mess.

Someone said that they'd seen him stopping off again at the drive-in on his way home.

He used to put about 50 quid or more into the drink and snack vending machines every week and had never been known to eat fresh fruit or veg.
(Fanta Menace Is tall enough to see over the fence, Fri 25 Jan 2008, 15:23, closed)