not my colleague but...
when I was in the hospital getting ready to have my baby, there was this nightmare of a midwife who talked over the doctor, talked over me when the doctor asked me questions, referred to the student midwife who was trailing her as 'the student' - we never learnt her name - and to cap it all, had a hysterical laugh that made her sound crazy.

Could not have worked with this woman
(housetits is channelling Natalie Cassidy - then, Mon 28 Jan 2008, 11:00, 4 replies)

She sounds fairly normal for a midwife.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 28 Jan 2008, 11:32, closed)

We've been lucky with midwives
But I do remember one being described as having the nurturing temperament of a Velociraptor.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 28 Jan 2008, 11:51, closed)

Midwives
being a new parent, you may appreciate my sharing (you may not too... anyway)

Midwives seem to come in two varieties, "lovely" and "twat". We had the balanced experience of both.

Our local MW who seen my wife through her pregnancy was great, unfortunately she retired not long after our daughter was born.

The MW running admissions at the hospital was a lazy shit. My wife had been in 'slow lablour' 15 hours and she tried to send us home (8 miles) because she was 25mm dilated, not the required 30, this measurement was taken with her fingertips btw, causing my wife to bleed substantially. I strongly believe that as her ward was completely empty at the time, we were inconveniencing her no-end to actually require admittance to the maternity ward while labouring.

The MW(s - long one!) who delivered our baby were fab, can't praise them enough. Afterward, my wife and daughter were moved from the delivery room to the ward proper. It was about 01:30 and I had to go home, leaving them alone when the uber-bitch struck.

The mouthy cow actually expected me to leave my wife and new baby without so much as saying goodnight. Upon my insistence, I was 'ordered' not to touch my child as "her head would be sore".
"No shit? I've just spent 35 hours watching her squeeze out of my wifes chuff! Sore? Really?"

If only I worked on the maternity unit. I would have a winning post, due to that utter, utter cnut!
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Mon 28 Jan 2008, 15:53, closed)

Midwives...
We had one whose every second word was 'dear'. She'd been there forever. In fact my Mother In Law remembers her from when she gave birth to my sister in law!

A prime example:
"Dear's looking a bit bit cold. I'll Just pop off and and get dear a blanket dear"
(MadBouncyDog Barking at the moon since, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 21:41, closed)