I have been mostly fortunate with my colleagues
but there are a couple that spring to mind. Very foolishly during my A-levels I applied for the coveted* "job" of editor of the fascinating and widely read sixth form newsletter. This meant that I wasn't technically a prefect as I'd wanted to be, and also that I spent the next 18 months chasing up people who had been coerced into writing me five lines about some open day they went to or a course they'd been on. Nine out of ten times the cunts were too lazy to do it and I'd end up making most of it up myself.

Worse than this, I was not alone in my newsletter hell. No. My partner in despair was Tris, the bitchy guy I've mentioned in past QOTWs who was Stalker Boy's best enemy. Tris used his "authority" as newsletter prefect to acquire himself an enormous "entourage" of girls who were dying for a gay best friend (at this time Tris was convinced that the character Jack from Will & Grace was based on him, so much so that he would walk into a room and do that "just Jack!" thing. This made me want to hit him and I did even more when he started referring to me as his Karen (OK, at the time I had shoulder-length dark brown hair and wore a suit because I had to for school and was partial to the odd few shots of vodka, but seriously). All this schmoozing meant any time I asked him would he mind giving me a hand because I had to run to a class, he would sigh and roll his eyes and tell me I had "such issues" (he fancied himself a bit of a psychologist but sadly his analysis never stretched beyond "such issues" and "you have to accept" something convoluted about yourself). So much so that one day near a deadline (these were the end of every term) I entrusted the disks to his care (this was pre-pendrives too) while I went off to a Latin class "of course I'll type it up, sweetie!".

Twenty minutes later when I am drinking tea and gossiping with my Latin teacher poring over a long and wordy passage of Catullus, Stalker Boy appears outside the door. This was not unusual, as in between his bouts of pretending to be gay he had the hots for my Latin teacher, who looked not unlike Kelly Brook in certain lights. I digress. Stalker Boy makes his presence apparent by swanning in and immediately launching into a conversation about turkeys with my Latin teacher (who can't stand him, sensibly). He then turns to me and says:

"Ooh, the minute you went out the door he alt-tabbed and went back to looking at Gaydar, dear."

This was enough and I ended up writing a letter to the head of sixth form (who looked like Snape from Harry Potter in a skirt, if you'll forgive the disturbing analogy) telling her - politely - to stick her newsletter up her arse. She bollocked me, and thereafter reminded me at every opportunity how many of the trustees loved the last newsletter and how worthwhile it was.

Eventually, when I came to leave, because all the lower sixth had seen me stressing over it so much, none of them applied and apparently it was referred to a committee after that. I was more annoyed I'd not been allowed to "concentrate on my studies" which I was always reminded, even when the floppy corrupted (again) on deadline day, were more important, BUT THE NEWSLETTER MUST BE FINISHED BY THE DEADLINE OR ELSE YOU WILL DIE.

I did learn to hide from the head of sixth form and cringe at the mention of the word "newsletter", and that I didn't want to be a journalist, though. And it made me laugh the one time she wanted me to type something up in front of her and typed "cunty" instead of "county". I also should add that my duties included Teaching Mrs Snape to Use Word 95 Even Though It's 2004 Because She Can Barely Type.

* read: "usually left to whoever was dumb enough to apply".
( Maladicta, Mon 28 Jan 2008, 12:51, 4 replies)

I don't know why
but I always really like reading about stalkerboy. I mean, he sounds truly horrendous, but the stories always keep me amused. Perhaps it's because they remind me that I never had to put up with anything as bad as him...
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Mon 28 Jan 2008, 13:51, closed)

I could write a book about him :)
though fortunately my life has been free of his stalkeriness for nearly two years now. Sadly in the interim I've had two OTHER stalkers. He truly was awful and I hope no b3tan ever does come across him!
( Maladicta, Mon 28 Jan 2008, 15:51, closed)

hahah
happy b3taday by the way
( AgentMuu hentai coordination, Tue 29 Jan 2008, 7:05, closed)

Thank you :)
*has only just noticed*
( Maladicta, Tue 29 Jan 2008, 16:08, closed)