And more from me....
I got a phone call this weekend asking if my previous post was about Caroline, and it wasn't. So here's Caroline.

Back when I worked for a finance house (do they still have them?) I was part of the fledgling 'Marketing Department'. At that stage it had been put together because it seemed like a good idea, and was more correctly as sales support department, but I digress. Caroline was brought in as a new recruit. Not hard to see why - she'd been working as a temp and was tall, blonde, and large of mammary.

Aside from the usual dull stuff, Caroline began to work on 'projects' within Marketing - ie cushy stuff that didn't involve much thinking but did involve going out and wooing potential business partners.

Sadly, the management babble that she got exposed to sunk in too deep. She went on a letter-writing course (?) and came back evangelising to us all about how we should write business letters. Really. Had she had a tambourine to bash, she'd have done it.

This behaviour went on and just got better. Buzzwords would drop from her lips like sh!t from a seagull. She remains the only person I have ever, ever heard use the line 'don't present me with problems - give me solutions' in total unironic seriousness. Like that was going to fix a busted printer. Similarly, if she felt a job was 'beneath' her - last-minute collation of a rush job, proofing something that needed to go out the door *now*, etc. - she'd always have something more important to do until about 5 minutes before the job finished.

Anyway, rumours began to run that she was shagging her way to the top. As this place was a haven of back-biting and nastiness, I ignored them and never really thought much of it.

Turns out, she was. I only found this out years later on talking to one of the company's senior managers and former super-salesman who is (a) a bit of a ram, and (b) actually quite a nice guy. Turns out he had, and so had many more.

According to him, while she was attractive and enthusiastic, her crying out 'I can't believe I'm fncking [his name]' in the middle of it was a little off-putting. Obviously shagging senior management was exciting stuff for her.

Last I saw of her, she was looking like Wendy Richards - which is nice, but not how a 30-year-old should look.

(Edit to change 'James' to 'Richards'. I meant Richards, but my hormones swayed me.)
(uncle whippity, Mon 28 Jan 2008, 13:36, 5 replies)

Like Wendy James
when she was in Transvision Vamp, or like Wendy James now?
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Mon 28 Jan 2008, 14:11, closed)

When you said 'Wendy James'...

I immediately thought.....ugh!

then I realised I was thinking of Wendy Richards.

Why can't I ever meet someone who is attractive and willing to shag their way to the top?

/sigh
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 28 Jan 2008, 14:55, closed)

I am a twat
I meant Richards, I honestly did.
(uncle whippity, Mon 28 Jan 2008, 14:58, closed)

Uncle...

Does that mean I'm a bit psychic?

..or that I spend my days thinking about Wendy Richards?

The jury is out...
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 28 Jan 2008, 15:06, closed)

Arrrgh
Now u have me thinking of Wendy James back in the heady Transvision Vamp.

I think she introduced me to self abuse

Sorry its completely unrelated i know, but she'd still get it these days ;)
(brocky, Tue 29 Jan 2008, 23:24, closed)