bastard shitter
I used to work for a very big company with the full gamut of personality traits available to delight me every day. My personal favourite was the unknown guy who was so proud of his turds he’d put them on display.

He’d build a solid unflushable base of toilette paper in the bowl, lay his turd on top, then close the lid to add to the surprise for the next user. Because the paper base was so high, when you opened the lid, for a split second, you got the impression the turd was leaping out at you.

Sometimes the turd would be a good solid British log, sometimes a more continental Mr Whippy affair, but the modus operandi remained constant for about six months. He then started to garnish his offerings. Perhaps a pencil stuck in the top like a little mast, a sprinkle of coloured paper clips and once a dandylion. It became so common place that on the occasion I'd come across one of his now rare plain turds I'd feel a little let down.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 31 Jan 2008, 9:06, 2 replies)

Phantom Shitter
When i was a member of the Air Squadron we had the phantom shitter.
A person took the time to shit in the most random and hard to access places.
Very odd but not exactly bastardish as it was places easy to clean and never malicious
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 10:41, closed)

Not that it matters now,
but have a click for "good solid British log"!
(MrC. Having the most boring username on b3ta since 2004, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 12:54, closed)