Went to a party, I dance all night, drank sixteen beers and ... nearly smashed the host's head clean off.
I'd been promised a doss on the sofa at the end of the night but the host passed out on it. Being a well-brought-up young man, I decided the decent thing would be to carry her to her own bed and then settle in on the sofa. Unfortunately, she was a lot heavier than she looked and I was considerably more mashed than I anticipated so rather than gallantly sweeping her to her chamber, I stumbled a few steps across the room and then properly smacked her head into a doorframe.

She didn't wake up so I dropped her back on the sofa and slept in the bed instead. She had a hell of a hangover the next morning. An unusual blue-black hangover that spread all up the side of her face.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:59, 7 replies)

unsuspected girl-battery lolz
*click
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:07, closed)

I did explain what had happened.
Although I may have skipped the bit about her being heavier than she looked.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:09, closed)

Your gallantry is truly legendary.

( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:18, closed)

I taught Lancelot everything he knows.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:01, closed)

I once had to carry a comotose, naked, female friend
from where she'd passed out on the bog back to her bed.

six foot tall women with sizeable breasts who are passed out to the point of being limp are really, really hard to carry. Especially if you are desperately trying to avoid copping too much of a feel. Doubly so if your only assistance is a gay man who refuses to touch naked women.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:29, closed)

hmm...
she was a lot heavier than she looked my pissed-up idea of my own strength proved to be fantastically exaggerated.

Once, dancing pissed with a galpal in a Cancun nightclub, I essayed a flamboyant dance move invovling throwing her in the air in a somersault. Only I ended up just dropping her squarely on her head from about two feet in the air with a sickening thud.
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:37, closed)

Pictures;
or it didn't happen...
(Dr. Shambolic's Mum, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 3:07, closed)