No sex here, move along please!
A mate needed her bedroom decorating and I offered to do it as a favour. Oh noooo, she said, I'm having a MAN in to do it!
I was a bit offended but hey, it was her money, and I later had to admit that the MAN did a nice job.

A couple of years later she rang me in a paroxysm of rage. All I could get out of her was that I needed to get over there NOW and SEE what that BASTARD had DONE.

I rushed over and found her standing, glowering, next to her wardrobe, which she'd moved for spring cleaning. There was a huge patch of old paper on the wall, where the MAN had decorated up to it and no further. As her other furniture also concealed undecorated spaces, she couldn't reposition any of it without re-doing the whole lot.

This was the funniest thing I'd ever seen, although my hysterical laughter didn't go down too well. I don't believe I calmed down for a week or more.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 18:41, 2 replies)

The MAN...
...was Mr Bean AICMFP.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 3:47, closed)

Could also have been my ex
who once wallpapered round the kettle.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:28, closed)