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This is a question Bedroom Disasters

Big Girl's Blouse asks: Drug fuelled orgies ending in a pile of vomit? Accidental spillage of Chocolate Pudding looking like a dirty protest? Someone walking in on you doing something that isn't what it looks like?... Tell us about your Bedroom Disasters

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:14)
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Drunken dirty talk.
We were drunk. Really drunk. Rising to the occassion, however, we commenced sport. Instead of the desperate fumbling and thrusting, I took a more laid-back approach, and, ever practical, considering my state and the amount of lager I'd drunk, manouvred myself underneath, so that she was on top. Slowly - so slowly - we continued. The bed was warm, so warm, comforable, and I was drunk - oh so drunk. So warm. So comfortable. So drunk.

After a while, she purred "What are you thinking about?".

Honestly, I replied, "I was thinking about Alan, playing a banjo while sitting on a bridge."

Well that's one way to finish it, anyway.
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:16, 9 replies)
I've run "Alan's banjo" through all three of my euphemism translators and drawn a blank.

(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:39, closed)
I've run
"I've run "Alan's banjo" through all three of my euphemism translators and drawn a blank" through all three of my euphemism translators, and it seems you're a sick, filthy perv with no more right to crawl upon God's green earth than a beetle.
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:20, closed)
I'll "crawl" upon your "green earth" in a minute.
If you know what I mean? Eh? Eh? Nudge nudge wink wink. Eh? I bet you do! Eh?
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:28, closed)
A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!

(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:29, closed)
During sex
is probably the best time to think of something other than sex.
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:56, closed)
I think about sex while making lists of groceries.
It stops me from shopping too early.
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:57, closed)
Whilst I fantasise about dead cats & vicars
I unfortunately often seem to be having sex.
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:11, closed)

(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:13, closed)
"appear to be"
"am apparently", "supposedly"?
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:59, closed)

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