Drunken dirty talk.
We were drunk. Really drunk. Rising to the occassion, however, we commenced sport. Instead of the desperate fumbling and thrusting, I took a more laid-back approach, and, ever practical, considering my state and the amount of lager I'd drunk, manouvred myself underneath, so that she was on top. Slowly - so slowly - we continued. The bed was warm, so warm, comforable, and I was drunk - oh so drunk. So warm. So comfortable. So drunk.

After a while, she purred "What are you thinking about?".

Honestly, I replied, "I was thinking about Alan, playing a banjo while sitting on a bridge."

Well that's one way to finish it, anyway.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:16, 9 replies)

I've run "Alan's banjo" through all three of my euphemism translators and drawn a blank.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:39, closed)

I've run
"I've run "Alan's banjo" through all three of my euphemism translators and drawn a blank" through all three of my euphemism translators, and it seems you're a sick, filthy perv with no more right to crawl upon God's green earth than a beetle.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:20, closed)

I'll "crawl" upon your "green earth" in a minute.
If you know what I mean? Eh? Eh? Nudge nudge wink wink. Eh? I bet you do! Eh?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:28, closed)

A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:29, closed)

During sex
is probably the best time to think of something other than sex.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:56, closed)

I think about sex while making lists of groceries.
It stops me from shopping too early.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:57, closed)

Whilst I fantasise about dead cats & vicars
I unfortunately often seem to be having sex.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:11, closed)

"seem"

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:13, closed)

"appear to be"
"am apparently", "supposedly"?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:59, closed)