simple, but wonderful
about 3 years ago, i had 3/4 of my stomach and about 6 feet of intestine removed. for the 4 days i remained in hospital after the operation, i could eat no more than 2 or 3 spoonfuls of thin soup.
for the following 6 weeks, my meals consisted of half a small jar of baby food, which i often couldn't finish. i don't know what babies see in it.
when the 6 weeks were up, i was finally ready to try solid food again. knowing that i wouldn't be able to handle much, i bought a box of ritz crackers.
oh. my. GOD.
as i sampled that first savoury, crunchy morsel, i thought i'd died and gone to food heaven. i'd waited so long to eat something with a bit of substance, something i could actually chew, that it tasted like the finest foodstuff ever created, instead of a small and salty cracker.
believe me, once you've gone that long without eating anything nice, whatever you eat first will be as ambrosia to your deprived palate.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 26 May 2011, 22:32, 8 replies)

Yeah but what does 6 foot of human andouillette taste like?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 26 May 2011, 23:27, closed)

nasty, i'd imagine

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 26 May 2011, 23:29, closed)

Wait. You mean you didn't eat your own guts and tripes?
What are you? Some sort of nancified pansy?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 26 May 2011, 23:30, closed)

not at all
i just couldn't manage to eat that much and, surprisingly, surgeons don't do doggy bags
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 26 May 2011, 23:33, closed)

I'm going to suggest it to that nice Mr Cameron as part of his NHS reforms.
Eat your Offcuts.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 26 May 2011, 23:36, closed)

better than some of the food i've been given in hospital

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 26 May 2011, 23:42, closed)

They probably nabbed it for the kitchens.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 26 May 2011, 23:55, closed)

keeps the morgue attendant at bay

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 27 May 2011, 0:01, closed)