Eggs
Female chickens, also known as hens, produce objects which are not dissimilar to prolate spheroids which tend to have one end larger than the other. This object usually has cylindrical symmetry along the long axis. The object is surrounded by a thin, hard shell; inside a yellow-coloured ‘vitellus’ is suspended in a white ‘albumen’ a spiral band of tissue known as chalazae. This object is commonly known as an ‘egg’. In many cases, these ‘eggs’ are edible.

Now, it has been scientifically proven that eggs are fucking brilliant, and I for one welcomed the conclusion and announcement of this research. I’ve been experimenting with these so-called ‘eggs’ and have found the following to be pleasant ways to prepare them for consumption:

Method 1
Fill a saucepan with water – enough to cover the egg. You will be immersing the egg into the water - but not just yet! Heat the water until it boils. Then add the egg to the boiling water. Leave it for approximately four minutes then remove from the cauldron so to speak. Place the egg into a small egg-sized cup, then use a small spoon – preferably one used for stirring tea (a stirring spoon I believe they are colloquially known as) to crack and remove a significant portion of the outer shell in order to access the albumen, or ‘white’. Once done, the ‘white’ can be consumed until the vitellus is arrived at. Also known as the ‘yolk’ this will be yellowy-orange in appearance and runny in texture. It will have a richer flavour than the ‘albumen’ (or ‘white’) and its flavour may be enhanced by the addition of salt. Some like to ‘dip’ lengths of toasted bread into the ‘yolk’. This practice is particularly prevalent in the British Armed Forces, especially amongst the ranks the land component of said military force.

Method 2
This requires a slightly longer preparation time, but requires the cracking of an egg or two into a glass bowl. Be sure not to allow any bits of shell to make their way into said bowl! Connoisseurs amongst you may wish to experiment with cracking the eggs only using one hand. Add a little milk to the egg mixture, season well – salt, pepper, Tabasco, Worcestershire sauce, et al can be added depending on the audacity of one’s palate. The mixture of said assortments should then be ‘whisked’ to combine the ingredients into a smoothish gelatinous ooze. This ‘ooze’, when added to a pan with a little oil should slowly start to solidify. Using a spatula-type instrument, break the newly-solidifying the egg-based until it takes on a ‘scrambled’ appearance. I quite like to serve the outcome of this so-called ‘scrambled’ egg on hot buttered toast. It can also accompany the various components of a Great British Breakfast-based repast, replete with various fried accoutrements.

There you have it – two ways to prepare ‘eggs’. I’m sure there are many more. I leave it to you to determine whether there are other means to enjoy one of Mother Nature’s greatest gifts...

Also, some interesting egg facts, pop-pickers:
• There is a band called The Lovely Eggs. I wonder what their favourite food is!
• Order Love Eggs at a restaurant and you’d get a funny look from the waiter! That’s because Love Eggs are a sex toy that you insert into the naughty bits (front or back) of your partner!
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Mon 30 May 2011, 16:32, 4 replies)

This is possibly the most eggciting post so far...

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 30 May 2011, 17:56, closed)

A better way to boil
place egg, water (to just cover), a pinch of salt & a splash of vinegar in pot, bring to boil. Allow to boil for 1 min. turn off heat, allow to sit for 4-5 mins. Rinse egg in cold water to stop cooking. Eat. Guaranteed runny yolk everytime!
The bringing to boil & vinegar prevent the shell from cracking and the reduced cooking time guarantees no grey/yellow balls.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 30 May 2011, 21:41, closed)

The best scrambled eggs
are made with cream and no milk. Finely chopped onion and bacon pieces fried inthe pan before adding the egg is also nice.
(M61A1 CUPID- STUNTS, Tue 31 May 2011, 4:37, closed)

Sour cream can be even better.
Yumm for the bacon & onion too.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 31 May 2011, 9:27, closed)