Why not simply learn how to make lasagne?
It'll take about three minutes and you can spend the rest of the night trying to find a woman who isn't vapid and needy.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:10, 1 reply)

But lasagne should be cared for, it should be teased,
it should have time taken over it, with careful attention to detail.

It shouldnt all be over in 3 mins.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 31 May 2011, 22:02, closed)

Sadly it seems
many of Shambles culinary conquests remain unsatisfied.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 31 May 2011, 22:33, closed)

Tis true, it's his many unfulfilled dinner guests I feel most sorry for.

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 31 May 2011, 22:49, closed)

I've heard it's mainly because of this, he rarely has the same guest twice.

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 13:49, closed)

Which one of those simple words and phrases caused you difficulty?
Let's assume you're in the remedial reading class and make it ten minutes to learn how to make lasagne. That leaves you another ten minutes to lose your virginity in the ragu before nursie takes you back to the crayons and play-do.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:19, closed)

I guess if your dinner guests have never had a good lasagne,
they'll settle for you making one in even 10 minutes.

I think 10 mins in, I'd still be plumping up the tomatoes.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 13:47, closed)

Duh, it's like, play-'doh'. I totally saw it at naptime and ate some behind a book.

( SigmaX0 Dear Die Hard. You rock!, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 14:25, closed)