Best send off ever
I have mentioned before the hairy objectionable french twat in our corridor. (I don't hate the french, honest, just THAT one)

One night, my roommate had gone with the boys next door and the twunt out clubbing, while I watched my friend be hypnotised in the union bar and simlulate sex with Brad Pitt on a mop. Said friend remembered nowt, and she and a bunch of mates went back to my massive room to down JD and tell her what she did. Eventually, we're all bit wobbly, and retire to our own beds. slaughtered.

Hours later (at like, 1am), my roomie opens the door, runs in, slams said door and says "omigod, you won't believe what just happened".

Reply: "no. sleep. drunk. shush" and went back to sleep.

Bit later, door knocks. Roomie gets up, opens it, and gallic moron steps forward to block door and starts screaming in her face about something or other. Pissed and pissed off I sleepily shouted "leave her the f**k alone and sod off"

He says "Shut up, this is none of you're business"

I don't remember this next bit (VERY drunk), but roomie tells it like this: I sat bolt upright, and started with "None of my f**king business? TW*T." hen began an extremely coherent, witty, insulting, intelligent five minute shouty rant at him, without hardly taking breath and not letting him get a word in. At the end (and I've been assured it was remarkable), he stands there totally speechless.

Roommate looks at me, looks at him, looks at me again, grabs door handle, shrugs and says

"night"

wish I'd said thatapo-loggies for length!
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Thu 29 Apr 2004, 17:50, Reply)