My brain hates me
Quick come backs are good in some places, not in others:
I was stood in the check-in line of Los Angeles airport in Novemebr 2001 (so you can imagine paranoia was high). I'd checked my main luggage through from San Diego so only had my laptop bag. A short wide woman in a faux police uniform perporting her to be airport security walks along the line asking everyone if they had any of the prohibited items knives, guns, water pistols, areosols, nail files that sort of thing.
So she goes through the list with me. I say no to all as I had none.
A few mins later after a bunch of people had joined the queue behind me (including some brits) She starts again.
She comes up to me and asks the question:
'Do you have anything sharp'
As my reply escaped my lips i felt my world fall away from me:

'Only my wit'

I was expecting to be marched off to a small room and then off to prison no trial no £200.
She looked at me as if I was speaking a forigen language. Shook her head as if freeing something from her ear and moved on.
Things were compounded slightly by the Brit couple behind being unable to speak for laughing.
(sleipnir, Fri 30 Apr 2004, 13:49, Reply)