Here's one about my own ignorance
Years ago, in what seems like a another lifetime, I was a young geo working in the goldfields of western australia. I applied for a high profile job at a huge goldmine, one I thought I hadn't a chance of getting. I knew a package called Minemap reasonably well, but had found out from a friend they used Micromine, which I'd never used. I found a manual about Micromine, and on my CV I listed that I was expert with all the functions, including some fairly advanced ones. To my suprise, I was offered the job and accepted. I boned up what I could on Micromine, difficult without being able to use it, and quit pot for a month to pass my pre-employment drug test.
On my first day of work, the chief geologist took me around to meet all my coworkers. Every one of them said the same thing: "Oh, you're the Micromine wizard. We've been desperate for you to start."
The next morning, I was sat at my new desk in front of a computer with the boss and two other geos waiting expectantly behind me.
I stared at the screen. It was a Unix terminal with a command promt. I'd never fucking used Unix and must of missed that part in the manual that said it was a fucking Unix based program.
The silence continued for a while before I turned and said, "So how do you turn it on, then?"
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 19:08, 6 replies)

Blimey, an Australian liar. You don't get many of them to the pound.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 19:12, closed)

Strewth!

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 19:17, closed)

crikey!
fair crack of the whip
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 19:21, closed)

Fair shake of the tomato sauce there mate!
EDIT: Oh Krudd, there are brief moments I miss him.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 19:34, closed)

59534 messages on /talk?
Figures.
(ubergeekian, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 22:37, closed)

What's that got to do with the fact that Australians are notorious liars?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 23:09, closed)

Says the whinging Pom.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 1 Sep 2012, 0:01, closed)

Dreadful racism.
And, you know, lies, seeing as it came from an Australian.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 1 Sep 2012, 9:32, closed)

No no no..paragon of honesty Ringofyre, happily married Ringofryre, happily married ringofyre who's got an OKcupid account is right here about the trustworthiness of Aussies.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 19:37, closed)