A few short ones...
Like the time I was at the dentist, and he was a complete noob. Probably hadn't even finished dentist school. Getting a filling, the twazzock slipped and ripped open my gum with the drill, spraying my lovely claret all over his white smock. The bastard.

Or the time I was working for a parcel company loading/unloading lorries. One of the metal railings had become broken on the inside of a lorry and I grazed my arm on it. Or so I thought. A little while later, I notice a trail of blood circling around the loading bay floor. Following the trail with my eyes, it led back to my arm, which was pouring a nice trail of blood all over the place. Didn't hurt a bit, oddly.

Like the time I was about 7 and playing with broken glass (as you do). Naturally I ended up with a cut hand. Mum wrapped my gushing hand in a teatowel and off we trot to casualty. By the time we get there, the towel is almost completely red on one side. When the doctor took off the towel and cleaned away the excess blood, the cut was all of 1cm long, but I had skillfully managed to nick one of the main arteries in my hand.
( Damocles wants no part of your debauchery, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 15:43, Reply)