1992....
and I had obtained 30 of some moderately powered "Amsterdam Anadin". They were not the usual potency that I used to get cnuted, and me and my fuck buddy decided to swallow a few at home and just play around a bit.

So, we started on a Sunday morning, just lay around on cushions at her flat, with 24 hours of suitable music stacked up in cd-form, liquids of various types - some for drinking, some for rubbing on body parts, and a quilt for if either of us should feel a chill.

Then we started to eat the pills, whenever the feelings started to subside, popping another. We both knew each other's limits... and a swell 14 hours or so was had by all.

Suddenly... it's Monday morning and I have to go to work. I make my way across town and arrive, a little shaky and with some sort of tunnel vision, at work. I get a coffee. I sit down. I stare blankly at my VDU screen. Normal Monday morning stuff.

About 10am, it's pee time, so I pinball myself down the corridor to the toilets. I stand there and release the flow. But all is not well.

There is a burning sensation down the pipe, and I look down to see a stream of hot claret pouring out of where yellow pee should be coming from. And it hurts. It hurts bad. It's not just a little blood in piss... it's thick, it's packed with red blood cells, and it's not stopping.

At this point, teh fear sets in. Have I blown a kidley through excessive drug use like Tracey Barlow? Have I broke the main muscle during extended sexual activity? Panic rushing round my head, and I have nowhere to turn, no Frank to ask.

I go back to my desk, and sweat. Profusely. Much more than the normal Monday morning sweats. I look and feel like shit. I'm scared, so scared that I don't go to the toilet for the rest of the day - If I don't see anymore pissing blood then I am not pissing blood.

I devise a simple plan. I must flush the kidneys. As soon as I leave work at 5, I rush to one of my city centre pubs, and down three pints of the Cream of Manchester. This forces me to want to break the piss seal. I nervously go to the bogs, and piss a welcome clear piss. Woo hoo! I've cured myself.

I come out of the toilets and feel in my jacket pocket and find a little bag, complete with 5 white pills. I had too. Just had too!


Length: 4 inches and a wrinkle (summer). 4 wrinkles and a inch (winter)
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 8:01, 3 replies)

Doctors, pfft, we don't need no stinkin' doctors!
Who needs doctors, when we have pubs? That image of blood piss is going to be burned in my head for a while. Thanks. ~
(Plague keeps clicking "I like this" on accident, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 8:16, closed)

*click*
for 'teh fear' AND the original 'Length' gag.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 8:55, closed)

ooowch
this made me cross my legs..
(Miggyman, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 10:34, closed)