Yet another boy and bike story
As a young lad, I used to ride my bike around a lot with my good friends (Who it now turns out are mostly utter cunts)

Anyway, one lovely summer day (I must have been about 7 or 8) I was riding on my brothers bike.
This thing was Red and Black, it had a spider painted on it, and it looked fucking cool. I was the dogs nuts on this thing. If only it had decided to stay together....

When riding down a hill, gravity likes to give you a hand so you don't need to pedal unless of course you whack it into a higher gear and want to go faster. I did just this, about halfway down this hill, things where just a blur going past me, this was undoubtedly the coolest thing I'd ever done.

Then, the brake lever fell off, I swear to God this next moment came in slow motion, the lever got jammed in the spokes of my front wheel, and it span until it hit the bar, The bike CATAPULTED me, I went flying off the front of this, I hit the ground face first, the bike landed on my back, bounced off and continued going. I felt the fiery pain of hell in my face. I got up very shakily and decided to walk home to tell my mum what had happened, one of my friends took the bike and walked me back, he had a look of absolute horror on his face, I looked down, my white shirt was now a lovely crimson colour, where the fuck had all that blood come from?

I put a finger underneath my nose, and it felt warm, I had a look, my entire finger had become drenched in blood in the space of a second, I ran home, ran as fast as I could, when I got in I went to look in the mirror, I could have made a convincing horror movie extra, I was covered in blood, it was absolutely everywhere. At that point I passed out, when I woke up my mum was over me crying, she thought I'd died, imagine her surprise when I opened my eyes and screamed.

Remember, bikes actually hate kids, they're not your friends.

Apologies for length, but I've had no complaints so far.
(Maccy Divided by 0 on, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 12:57, 2 replies)

This reminds me of my childhood so much...
...luckily, I never mangled myself as seriously as this, but you may well be right about bikes hating us =)
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 14:01, closed)

My only real blood and bike related trauma
Involved the classic 'trying to go over a curb that's too big".

Cue comedy head over handlebars face first into concrete and a small number of stitches to my cheekybone.

Didn't cry either* cos I was hard as FUCK

*may be a lie
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 14:15, closed)