Nose hairs and garden sprinklers
I was mid-twenties before I grew noticeable nose hair. Even now twenty years later, I only have one or two, and even then they only seem to grow every year or two, one at a time.

But the first time I noticed one, I was fascinated. It was huge, much darker than my normal blonde locks, and had the look of something from the Maplin's catalogue rather than anything connected to and growing from something living. I resolved to pull it out for a better look.

However, it was slightly slimy, and I couldn't get a grip of it with my fingertips, so I went and got a pair of pliers. In the bathroom mirror I got a good grip and gave a light tug... and nearly passed out. It was rooted far, far deeper into my head than I had realised. In fact, the sensation was such that it appeared to have been actually rooted in the BACK of my head and had grown clean through my brain to reach the front. It certainly looked long enough, and it was wicked thick, far far thicker than any other hair I'd ever seen. My eyes watered for several minutes and the itching sensation on the back of my scalp persisted for about an hour.

It was great.

None of my subsequent hairs have been anywhere near as disgusting or satisfying.

........

In my teens I was getting on *very* well with a young lady, and it had reached that bit where you lean in for the first bit of lip-on-lip action... her eyes closed in anticipation, my mouth opened... and from somewhere in the back of my throat sprayed a jet of saliva like a small water pistol, all across her face. (See "The Meaning of Liff" entry for "Skoonspruit").

I walked home alone.
(SonofRojBlake, Fri 12 Jul 2013, 11:13, 2 replies)

Pliers?
What do you use to cut your nails - secateurs?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Jul 2013, 11:28, closed)

Well, I liked this one.

( Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Sat 13 Jul 2013, 11:43, closed)