Not me. And not even human so technically not fitting the brief.
However I think you may agree upon reading that I can shoe-horn this one.

My missus had a cat. Called Blush. I ran him over and we had to have him put down. But that's another story.

Now as any feline owner may know - when a cat gets an abscess (frequently from fighting and whatnot) it generally ends up as a warm lump on the cat's body which can often erupt in a volcano of foul-smelling, bloody pus. The cat also tends to find these areas particularly painful and will usually scratch and bite if these sites are inspected, let alone squeezed or manipulated.

One evening my wife and I were sitting on our bed with Blush - this was pre-bairn.
My missus feels a strange lump on Blush's noggin. She finds a scabby bit right on top and unconsciously picks at it. It pops off. With a little force. Which is a slight surprise to her. She tugs at it with a little more force and suddenly a small white worm of something squirms out of the wound.
We gently prised apart the skin on his head between his ears - what was a "worm" turned into a solid lump that heads skywards in a slow but inexorable way.
So we gave it a gentle squeeze. A solid core the shape of the wound rose up and slowly curled over and was supplemented by some of the foulest smelling greeny, blood ooze that you could imagine.
All the while Blush sat there quietly purring.
I would imagine that having a swelling on your skull would hurt. I know from experience that squeezing a swelling right next your scalp fucking twinges. A LOT!
Yet he sat there apparently unfazed as we rather disgustedly mopped up this abscess that had clearly been there for at least a few days.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 13 Jul 2013, 8:15, 9 replies)

1. You are disgusting people.
2. You did this in your fucking bed? What is the matter with you?
3. If you don't have an actual story, don't post. In fact, just don't post.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 13 Jul 2013, 8:49, closed)

For you -
more than happy to oblige.

1. When I worry about being judged by the likes of you - well, suffice to say I'll give up posting to sites like this.
2. Seeing as we had no idea of the outcome, the best we could was grab some old towels and put them under him. Which we did.
3. So your interesting, original story this week (and the last few months worth of /qotw) is?

I only ask because you rarely actually post a genuine answer to the question. Mostly you just post your snide commentary.
Which you and some of the people who come here think is funny (and sometimes, on the rare occasion, is). But for the most part as far as I have seen - you don't have many tales to tell.

That's ok, I wouldn't feel too bad either if I were you.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 13 Jul 2013, 9:13, closed)

I llke the story
Our cat used to get the same thing. It was rarely placid though.
(Nitrous Nitrous, Sat 13 Jul 2013, 9:13, closed)

This old fella had his fair share of abscesses
but this one definitely broke the mould in terms of "grossness".
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 13 Jul 2013, 9:57, closed)

unfazed

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 13 Jul 2013, 10:18, closed)

'murrica.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 13 Jul 2013, 10:23, closed)

No.
It's spelled 'unfazed' everywhere.
(Frank Snow, Sat 13 Jul 2013, 18:00, closed)

Unfazed.
ON THE INTERNET!
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 13 Jul 2013, 22:54, closed)

Is this a uniquely catty thing?
I'm pretty sure neither of our dogs ever had squelchy abscesses, though we did keep them locked up in a padded kennel and made them wear booties during walks.*

^{*not entirely true}
( Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Sat 13 Jul 2013, 11:20, closed)

I found an interesting article
that explains it far better than I could - here.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 14 Jul 2013, 0:54, closed)

To be honest
when this story lurched towards you and Mrs McUW in bed I was greatly relieved when all you did was milk a cat's head.
(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Sat 13 Jul 2013, 17:13, closed)

I think that's where rory was starting off with too!
I guess both of you ended up with some relief.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 13 Jul 2013, 22:54, closed)