I don't care if it's been done before
In fact I see it was done a few answers down, but not expanded on at all.

The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks

This book changed my life.
After reading it I changed my lifestyle quite a bit...

I lived on the first floor of a house, and kept a sledgehammer by my door. This was so I could destroy the stairs if I had to, to stop them getting up to me.

I had several hundred pounds worth of tinned food and bottled water in my wardrobe.

I slept with a katana next to my bed, a commando knife under my pillow, and a hefty blunt object in every room.

I learnt to use a bow and arrow, as the noise of a gunshot would bring more of them to me.

I'd lost my wife and children, the judge said that I'm "dangerously and illogically paranoid".

I had to quit my job, as the office wasn't secure enough to provide protection in the event of an outbreak.

I'm writing this from Broadmoor Secure Hospital.
I'll be out when I'm 87, if I behave well.

Going to Lakeside shopping center after watching Dawn Of The Dead, and not sleeping for a week was a mistake.
I now know that they were morons out shopping for tracksuits and tacky gold jewellery, not zombies.

I'm happy here though, no way they could get me in my cell.
( Cawl, Mon 19 May 2008, 10:13, 30 replies)

That book actually gave me a nightmare
I was desperately trying to smash up my stairs with an axe, but I didnt do it quickly enough and the zombies broke in, I woke up just as they grabbed me.

Needless to say, I woke up screaming.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 19 May 2008, 11:25, closed)

One of my
Friends had a nightmare after reading World War Z, that zombies were breaking through the roof above his bed.

He woke his girlfriend up by screaming "WE'RE ALL GOING TO FUCKING DIE!".

She found him cowering in the corner of the room, sobbing, but asleep.
( Cawl, Mon 19 May 2008, 11:31, closed)

I have a zombie apocalypse plan
I live at the end of a cul-de-sac and my neighbour owns 7 shotguns, we block off the cul-de-sac and man the barricade.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 19 May 2008, 11:38, closed)

Bad idea.
I live in a tiny cluster of houses in the countryside (5 houses, one church).

I've got a spare key to the church.
It's one of those old English ones that was built more as a fortress than as a place of worship.

I'd be sorted.
( Cawl, Mon 19 May 2008, 11:41, closed)

I live in a village of 1200 people
so i'm counting on less zombies and a slower rate of infection. The nearest city is 16 miles away and they will dribble out of there.

People in towns/cities are f-f-f-fucked.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 19 May 2008, 11:49, closed)

The question you
Have to ask yourself then, is "Could I kill 1,200 zombies?"

The answer is likely to be "No".
( Cawl, Mon 19 May 2008, 11:52, closed)

I'm banking on them not all becoming zombies at once
Slower rate of infection, deal with them as they turn and take out any stragglers from the city.

Dont get me wrong, i'm sure it would end up with me dying of dehydration on my roof or being chased across the mendip hills. My village does have a lake (2 miles long, half mile wide), so I could end my days in a boat with zombies lining the entire edge of the lake.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 19 May 2008, 11:58, closed)

Sounds a plan.
But DON'T DRINK THE WATER.
Or you could wake up undead.
( Cawl, Mon 19 May 2008, 12:17, closed)

I considered myself reasonably well prepared...
in the event of zombie apocalypse

but to make sure I ordered this survival guide and world war z this morning. I look forward to being terrified by them

that said, a lot of my most memorable dreams are about zombies anyway, so shouldn't be a break from the norm.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 May 2008, 13:12, closed)

I used to have
lots of zombie dreams. What's disturbing is that they have recently been replaced by dreams about the QOTW board on B3ta. In fact it's more than disturbing, I think it's the saddest (in the sense of "durrr, you saddo!") thing that has ever happened to me.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 May 2008, 14:48, closed)

What am I like
In your dreams?
( Cawl, Mon 19 May 2008, 15:03, closed)

^
you have knives and cable ties and are utterly filthy.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 19 May 2008, 15:12, closed)

^ Oh...
I meant in Al's dreams, not yours...
( Cawl, Mon 19 May 2008, 15:16, closed)

well
it's probably the same for al, but with more of a goaty flavour.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 19 May 2008, 15:17, closed)

Oh...
I do wash for the record.
( Cawl, Mon 19 May 2008, 15:18, closed)

actually
the thread dreams aren't the weirdest ones. Last night I dreamt that CHCB had invited me to her wedding. And her real name was Jane Golgotha (now i'm almost certain this is incorrect, but if not, what a crazy coincidence!).
(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 May 2008, 15:21, closed)

it's Golgothe
with an 'e'.

And it's June, not Jane.

Who was I wedding at this wedding? And were you wearing your sparkly bra for the occasion?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 19 May 2008, 15:27, closed)

Oh...
That's a bit special...

I feel a little left out though...
( Cawl, Mon 19 May 2008, 15:27, closed)

Well that was the weird thing
Me and the Mrs turned up to this "wedding", and I was explaining who the QOTW people were and then we got given out invitations by some random women, but it only had your first name and then a little sticky label over your last name, and I had to ask her if I could peel it off as I didn't know you last name (though quite why I knew your first name I don't know) and she look ed really surprised.

And then you wear sitting at a pub table with a bunch of other people (come to think of it, one of them was Enzyme) and then the dream took a bit of a strange turn and none of you were there any more and I was in a farmhouse with a bunch of australians.

Personally, I blame extreme fatigue.

Oh, and sorry Kaol, next time I'll dream something lovely about you.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 May 2008, 15:39, closed)

much as hearing people's dreams is normally pants
that was actually quite interesting. I feel honoured to have invaded your slumber.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 19 May 2008, 15:41, closed)

I realised once I finished typing
that it did sound like a load of uninteresting drivel.

But I was just getting a bit worried that B3ta is invading my head. So I discussed it ..... on B3ta? Hmmmmmmmmm.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 May 2008, 15:44, closed)

Oh...
Well, congratulations on your wedding then.

*sulks*
( Cawl, Mon 19 May 2008, 15:56, closed)

@al
You should join the support-group for b3ta addicts.

Anyway, the above discussion inspired me to do a 'shopped image, but b3tards is down at the mo'.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 19 May 2008, 16:16, closed)

I found an alternative imagehost
So here it is - the LolCHCB


( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 19 May 2008, 16:26, closed)

er
thanks. Eh, I think.

Um, now I'm really pleased I didn't post the picture of my ass.

(Why am I wearing a camping chair?)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 19 May 2008, 17:15, closed)

^ ^
I only realised too late that the source-image had a support, but figured it could be an elaborate set of nipple-clamps that need to be held in place.

_{Remember boys and girls - never get married without your nipple-clamps.}
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 19 May 2008, 17:29, closed)

I hadn't considered a veil before
but now I see it makes me look virginal, like the Mother of Christ. Bless.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 19 May 2008, 17:36, closed)

that image is priceless
made me snort into my tea. good job there aren't many people in the office yet
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 May 2008, 8:21, closed)

^
I do hope that by 'priceless' you mean you could never afford to buy me

and I'm only 50p.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 20 May 2008, 15:08, closed)

I could probably stretch to 50p
but naturally, I did mean that you look so radiant that it is impossible to consider something as mundane as money when gazing upon your beveiled visage...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 21 May 2008, 8:34, closed)