OK - to get into the spirit of things, and to offer an olive branch to the gazzes saying I'm an illiterate, horrid bully
Here are some of the better books I've recently read, or am currently reading:

A Time Of Gifts - Patrick Leigh Fermor

Astonishing The Gods - Ben Okri

Three Men In A Boat - Jerome K Jerome

A couple of The Flashman Packets - George Macdonald Fraser

Several of the Transmetropolitan series - Warren Ellis

Viz magazine

Private Eye magazine

Now - can we all stop masturbating about how clever we all are, and continue lying about our sexual exploits and the baddies we've felled?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 9:16, 10 replies)

You illiterate, horrid bully.
Why, I ought to cut you down with my (non-ornamental) samurai sword, and fuck your mother.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 9:22, closed)

Transmetropolitan is fucking brilliant.
And you just reminded me that Ellis' novel 'Crooked Little Vein' was a brilliant mindfuck of a book.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 9:26, closed)

I have an great fondness for Three Men in a Boat
it's like Victorian Top Gear
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 9:48, closed)

The broken teacup had me actually weeping with laughter on the tube.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 9:50, closed)

I'm from Walsall, which was also JKJ's hometown
I tend to read it once every couple of years :)

I also like to think that the Blue Posts pub mentioned towards the start is the one that I used to live in (out of the five Soho pubs still to bear that name - though it's definitely the one refereced in Belle de Jour)
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 9:59, closed)

Uncle Podger
cracks me up every time
(leviticus no longer likes the cut of your gib on, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 10:48, closed)

For some reason that bit reminded me of the quote in The Machine Gunners.
When they strip the gun down, and it's lying in bits on the floor, and one of them says "Gi' it here, Ah'll sort it - ma da' cuild aye mend watches."
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:02, closed)

where ya goin' now?

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:25, closed)

Ta get the bogie!

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:16, closed)

Time of Gifts
is a towering masterpiece.

And if you'd mentioned As I Walked Out One Midsummer Morning by Laurie Lee, you may have got a second click.
(groover j lazerus, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 22:10, closed)