Pearoasted from
The B3ta Detective Agency.

Here's a doozy.
I went up to the bottle-shop to get some beers after work 1 night many years ago in my Ford Escort Ghia (auto - & that's important later). Completely straight, sane & sober. Come out of the bottle-o (where I know the guys quite well), jump in the car.
Won't start.
Now to be fair this beauty did have some dicky electrics so within about half-an-hour I end up cleaning the battery terminals, checking the alternator, starter-motor & the plugs and points (steadily gathering a crowd of blokes all offering little bits of advice).
Eventually Clayton (who worked @ the bottle-o but was a drinking buddy at the local pub) suggested that I might want to put the car in "park" or "neutral" rather than "drive" in future in order to start my car with automatic transmission...

Car in park, starts 1st time & off I go home rather sheepishly to enjoy my beers. The missus just about wet herself laughing
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 24 Mar 2013, 5:55, 6 replies)

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(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 24 Mar 2013, 19:57, closed)

ha ha
what a dick.
(MayorBoris, Tue 26 Mar 2013, 20:45, closed)

Similarly,
I bought a new Vauxhall last year. It would sometimes start, other times nothing.

Took me 2 days to work out that my habit of randomly pushing the clutch (or not) before I start a car was relevant.

Newer Vauxhalls don't start unless you push the clutch down.

The electric handbrake doesn't disengage manually unless you've got your foot on the brake either - that took a week to work out, as it does it automatically as you pull away anyway.
(username failed moderation, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 9:22, closed)