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This is a question Breakin' The Law

'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'

(, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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evening all
I once went out for lunch in the City with my dad. It turned out to be a mostly liquid lunch. Afterwards I was planning to check out an exhibition at the ICA but coming out of Green Park tube station I decided my time would be better spent protesting against the monarchy, so I proceded to run up and down the Mall in front of cars shouting "Fuck the Queen!"

It was't too long before I was being bundled into the back of a police van and taken to Charing X police station where I spent the next few hours sobering up. My recollection of the incident is somewhat hazy but I woke up sorely bruised the next day, which I think to be fair was from me trying to stop cars in their tracks rather than police brutality.
(, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 22:28, Reply)

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