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This is a question Breakin' The Law

'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'

(, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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A 10" dildo and your best friends mum
Recently I posted this on the board but this deserves a repeat I think :D.

A couple of months ago The Sun newspaper was giving away free 'sexual enhancement' kits via the 'dear deidre' page. My friend I saw this when reading the paper and we decided it would be a bit of a laugh to apply for one and send it to our mates rather proper mum if we were picked.
Well as it happens we were one of the first 250 or whatever it was to apply and so we had it posted to our mates house under his mums name.
We hadn't told our mate about doing this for obvious reasons ;).
Anyway it turns out the sexual enhancement kit was a 10" dildo and some lube so you can imagine the reaction of my mates mum when she opened the parcel up.
Our mate soon realised who it was that had done this and told his mum who then reported us to the police.
So I'm sat at the computer and I look out the window and I see a police car pull up and I'm thinking 'the bastards turned me in'.
Luckily for me I was only cautioned by the coppers and not charged with anything after a bit of sweet talking on mine and my friends part to our mates mum.
That said one of the policemen did find it quite funny when we were explaining what happened :D.
(, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 22:47, Reply)

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