Breakin' The Law
'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
( , Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
( , Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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Family can drag you in.............
A good few yrs ago i bought a powerful bb gun, it was fun and gave whoever u shot blisters. When my cousin (best friend) saw this he thought he wud get 1 too, but he used it in very stupid ways. Bein about 15 he looked like a fully matured man, where as i didnt. So 1 day im sittin watchin tv and i get a phonecall. My cousin was whispering sumthin, he told me to go into my back garden and open the door that led to a field tht we used to play footy on (there was a sunday league football ground there) so i went out opened the door for him and he said holy watermelon, the grounds keeper of the footy ground saw me with this bb gun and ran inside the stands for cover. So i thought ok no big deal, he went home since he only lived a 2 minute walk away. He goes and i get back to watchin tv. Then about 5 mins later i hear police sirens, the van stopped outside me house and 2 little piggys walk up to the door. I didnt really twig what was goin on (i didnt take any notice to what was goin on outside) the doorbell goes, me mums answers it and 1 of the little piggys goes "excuse me miss, did sum1 run thru ur back garden with a gun?" stunned my mums comes in2 the livin room an asks me had i let any1 in thru the bakgarden with a fully loaded gun. I went to the door and said sorry officer i think u have the wrong house." then i hear loud footsteps me bro runs to the door and says " his names xxxxxxxxxxx he lives blah blah blah, so pretending to act dumbi sed xxxx did he have a gun? he replied its a bb gun, to which the little piggy then said "oh! ill call off the armed van off then...." so they went round t me cousins house an he got an absolute bollickin, the gun and ammo was confiscated.... comin to think about it his parents nearly killed/disowned him....
( , Wed 7 Jan 2004, 23:16, Reply)
A good few yrs ago i bought a powerful bb gun, it was fun and gave whoever u shot blisters. When my cousin (best friend) saw this he thought he wud get 1 too, but he used it in very stupid ways. Bein about 15 he looked like a fully matured man, where as i didnt. So 1 day im sittin watchin tv and i get a phonecall. My cousin was whispering sumthin, he told me to go into my back garden and open the door that led to a field tht we used to play footy on (there was a sunday league football ground there) so i went out opened the door for him and he said holy watermelon, the grounds keeper of the footy ground saw me with this bb gun and ran inside the stands for cover. So i thought ok no big deal, he went home since he only lived a 2 minute walk away. He goes and i get back to watchin tv. Then about 5 mins later i hear police sirens, the van stopped outside me house and 2 little piggys walk up to the door. I didnt really twig what was goin on (i didnt take any notice to what was goin on outside) the doorbell goes, me mums answers it and 1 of the little piggys goes "excuse me miss, did sum1 run thru ur back garden with a gun?" stunned my mums comes in2 the livin room an asks me had i let any1 in thru the bakgarden with a fully loaded gun. I went to the door and said sorry officer i think u have the wrong house." then i hear loud footsteps me bro runs to the door and says " his names xxxxxxxxxxx he lives blah blah blah, so pretending to act dumbi sed xxxx did he have a gun? he replied its a bb gun, to which the little piggy then said "oh! ill call off the armed van off then...." so they went round t me cousins house an he got an absolute bollickin, the gun and ammo was confiscated.... comin to think about it his parents nearly killed/disowned him....
( , Wed 7 Jan 2004, 23:16, Reply)
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