Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
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rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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Done for punnery!About a month ago I was out on the lash in Shrewsbury with my mates. At last orders at the pub we were in, we decided to go off to the local "nightspot" where the licence carries on til 2. It was a short walk across the town centre. We were a little pissed, so we were fecking about, you know jumping over postboxes and running around like dickheads, that sort of thing. Anyway, we were all trying to prove how hard we were by doing "daring" things. Now Shrewsbry is quite a violent place, full of dicks who's idea of a good night out is getting pissed then battering someone, so the police presence on a typical saturday night is pretty prominent. So there we were, arsing around, when I notice two of the boys in blue standing up ahead against a wall. I told my mates to keep quiet and "watch this". Me, thinking I was cool, walked towards the coppers, fumbling in my wallet. Just as I passed them, I "dropped" a 2 pence piece on the flaw. I turned to my mate and proclaimed "I fucking hate coppers".
My mates were highly amused..but the rozzers were not. I got warned....wonkers.
(, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 23:20, Reply)
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