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This is a question Breakin' The Law

'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'

(, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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When I was a teenager
me and my mates used to spent lots of time in my car, driving up into the countryside to get stoned. One time we were on our way back home, it was late and we were all wasted. We get back into civilisation and almost immediately we're being tailed by the cops. I asked who had any weed on them and everyone said no, but I had 1/2 ounce in my pocket!!?? So after a mile or so, the lights go on and they pull us over. I step out of the car and try to remain as calm as possible but figure that this time it's curtains. The first cop asks me to come round to the back of the car while the other one starts to question my mates by the passenger window. So after the usual questions this guy asks me to open up the boot. I oblige and he has a rummage about, then the other policeman shouts my guy over and he leaves me at the back of the car ON MY OWN. So quick as a flash I throw my gear into the trunk just before the cops look over at me and my chap says "You can shut the boot now and come here." I do this and the next thing I'm hearing is "empty out your pockets." The look on my mates faces was a picture as I turned both pockets out completely empty. They searched the whole car and all my mates but never tried the boot again. Poor guys drove off feeling very confused as we all sat in my car laughing our asses off. Turns out the reason the policeman questioning my mates had called my fella over was because he'd spotted a ripped rizla packet on the dashboard. Aaaah so near and yet so far away.
edit: That was all a long time ago and I am now a model member of society. Don't do drugs kids, I did them so I can tell you all about it.
(, Thu 8 Jan 2004, 1:51, Reply)

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