Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
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rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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Helicopter searchlightI had to join, just to tell this story. It was about 1990 or so and me and my mate had been celebrating something with the kind of fireworks that shoot up in air then explode with the sound of a rifle shot.
Well some old dear called the police, and next thing we knew there was a helicopter with a searchlight on it overhead and police with dogs coming onto the meadow. My mate and I got separated (probably because we were staggering drunk) and I decided sensibly to get off the meadow. Not my mate. He told me after the police brought him home that the helicopter had caught him in its searchlight and followed him as he ran barefoot into a wood and hid in a bush. 2 minutes later, when all teh police with the dogs arrive, they say to him, "Will you come out of that bush," our hero replies: "Who? Me?"
(, Thu 8 Jan 2004, 4:27, Reply)
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