Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
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rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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ShootersI still don't know why we did this but one bored Sunday me and 4 of my mates drove to toysrus and loaded up on replica guns.
This was when you could buy an exact replica glock or Luger as a toy.
Mind you, you couldn't after we did this.
The toys guns have red stoppers in the end of the barrels so they look like replicas.
Of course after a bit of fiddling we got these out and they looked just like the real thing.
Being daft arses it didn't occur to us that to everyone else we looked like 5 lunatics in a car with guns.
On the way home we course decided to go into a small shop and buy crisps, chocolate and shit loads of caps for the guns.
Of course we came running from the shop firing our newly bought caps from our guns, jumped in the car and wheel span away like the fannys we were.
So on the 30 mile drive back from toysrus
we did drive by's on some cows, a kid on a bike, a goat, 2 pensioners and several cars.
We were having great fun until about 5 miles from home the police speed car popped up behind us and sat about 20ft behind the car.
Ths worried us somewhat so cunningly we decided to stuff the guns under the car seats.
When we came around the final corner back to the town were we lived there was a bloody great road block.
The police at the road block immediatly clocked the car and at the same time the speed car over takes and pulls infront of us.
The policeman cautiously comes up and say "we've had reports of 5 guys in a car matching your description running out of a shop firing handguns and discharing firearms at people on the road."
When we'd ran out the shop were we bought the caps we'd been firing the guns in the air yo samity sam style the locals thought we'd robbed it and popped the owner.
Obviously they then found the guns under the
seats. I think they were so relived we weren't
gun toting maniacs but instead just a car full of baw bags they let us go with a slap on the wrists.
The policemens final words to us were. "Your lucky it was a Sunday or the armed police would be here". So if you want to rob anywhere
do it on a sunday as the armed police are at the bingo.
I think if we did this now we'd be doing a few
years in Barlinnie.
(, Thu 8 Jan 2004, 10:23, Reply)
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