Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
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rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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Female Anatomy Hilarity... Almost.In the dark streets of Canterbury I was guilty of a rather heinous act.
It is a very quiet place so anything to liven up your evenings is well worth any minor trouble with the local constabulary and if it includes childish vandalism... all the better.
Me and a mate noticed that a popular high street chemist was just asking for some fun. We made a little half circle of white perspex, then grabbed a ladder and some white gaffer tape under the cover of darkness to the High Street.
We prepare ourselves, I'm holding a ladder as my mate climbs the steps. Just as he's got to the top and securing our piece of art, we are bathed in white light and hear the sound of a door closing.
A fine member of the local constabulary says "Hello, lads. What are you up to at this time of night." Just at the exact moment my mate is admiring his handiwork of changing 'Boots' into the hilarious 'Boobs'.
I was so scared, I didn't let go of the ladder for 5 minutes. Thankfully, the police officer saw the funny side but he did make us take down our little amendment to the retail experience of East Kent. I was very young, that's my excuse anyway and I'm sticking to it.
(, Thu 8 Jan 2004, 12:17, Reply)
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