sperm, poo & piss
Firstly some background; my Dad is a retired GP and Police Surgeon (certifying dead tramps, tending to people in the cells, giving evidence in court etc) and where we lived in Notts, Dad's surgery was just up the street.

So, one day many years ago when I was a teenager enjoying my school holidays i was abruptly awoken from my matutinal slumbers by the front door bell ringing. "ah..." I thought, "no-one is in, must answer door...."

Stumble down stairs, open door, blink resentfully at policewoman-shaped silhouette standing in the sunlight....holding a plastic bag.

"Hi there, is your Dad in? I've been up to the surgery and no-one is there?"

"Sorry Miss - he's out at the moment, he'll be back later"

"oh fine, could I leave these with you then? Oh by the way, I should keep them refridgerated"

YAWN, "OK, will do - bye now", stuff bag in fridge and leave nestling gently amongst our lovely middleclass food stuffs (palma ham, mayonnaise, left-over venison, swans' tongues etc) and go back to bed....sleep, ah sweet slumber....

Awoken a few hours later by my mother demanding to know "What the hell is this bag full of piss, shit and sperm doing in my fridge!?"

err....well

Punchline: my Dad frequently acts as an expert witness for rape victims etc and quite routinely takes samples from the victims and/or criminals - I explained what happened that morning, oh how we laughed.

ps - to clarify: each bit was individually contained, it wasn't a doughy mixture of the three wrapped up in a bag.
(callipygous everytime I kill a hitchhiker, God masturbates, Thu 8 Jan 2004, 14:29, Reply)