Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
(
rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
« Go Back
PC taking the pissHaving celebrated a mates birthday at Majetyk in Leeds, me and said mate poured out onto the pavement arm in arm and still clutching our beers, searched for somewhere to relieve ourselves. We spotted a copper across the road and in our booze addled wisdom decided it would be a good idea to ask him if he knew anywhere suitable to have a piss without getting in trouble. "Just nip round that corner lads" he shouted to us, pointing behind him to a sidestreet. YAY!
Imagine our suprise when the same copper nicked us both for indecent exposure! We had to give statements there and then, which made for very funny reading in court, especially the bit when my mate said "But I used to be in the force myself"
"really?" replied the officer
"Nah, coppers are a bunch of cunts"
(, Thu 8 Jan 2004, 17:00, Reply)
« Go Back