Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
(
rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
« Go Back
Barking PolicemenWhen i was a wee-nipper (about 14), me and my friend used to go to the part/posh theatre bit in the centre of town and drink stuff we nicked from our parents, and pretend to be pissed.
A few weeks earlier there had been a big thing in the papers about how "local youths where wrecking the local park, condoms hung round like a chirstmas tree and bins in the lake", didnt bother us.
We went along then all of a sudden 5 police cars came from no where, me and 3 mates ran into this little garden bit until things went quiet, after thinking the coast was clear, we legged it to this little ally that lead outa the park. Unfortuantly Mr Policeman spotted us and chased after us, unkown to me at the time (that he was a police fella), all I heard was some bloke pretending to be a dog and barking, and thought the local tramp was off on one. After exiting the ally we proceded to leg it until he caught up with us, and it was Mr Police man, he wasnt very happy and we all got searched... 5 mins later Mr fat policeman caught up and nearly had a fit from all the excerise.
(
uberphil, Thu 8 Jan 2004, 17:17,
Reply)
« Go Back