Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
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rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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GendarmesA group of about 10 of us went on a camping tour of Normandy several years ago. Anyway, one night its a beautiful night so we find a streetside bar and sit outside drinking many many strong continental lagers. Some of us speak French pretty well, so we're chatting to the locals and generally getting on with everyone fantastically.
Someone decides to start singing some songs, and everyone joins in. Its getting late and a car full of gendarmes cruises slowly by the bar, the car's passenger motioning us to quiet down.
Nearly all of us see this and stop singing except for my best mate, who turns and sees the car passing by a moment too late.
In the silence he shouts "TAXI!"
The car stops suddenly, shifts into reverse and pulls back up next to my mate. He looks at him in that disdainful way, reaches around his seat and pops open the back door, motions to my mate to get in. He sheepishly does.
We had to collect him from the gendarmerie the next morning. He couldn't speak a word of French and the Gendarmes certaintly didn't help him out and make him feel at ease. He was a shivering wreck when we got him - he didnt know where he was, when he could get out, or what to do.
He has been terrified of all police ever since, and always gets really highly strung whenever he sees one now, hehe. Poor bloke.
(, Fri 9 Jan 2004, 15:09, Reply)
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