Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
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rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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dreadlocks can be quite disgustingParticularly if they're of the 'just happened by itself' type.Crusty mate of mine had various clumps of this type,then after that- a mohican,then after that- just a few clumps at the back of his head,after that he had a shaven head and one greasy matted lump,and then he cut that off and kept it in his pocket for reasons best known to himself.A number of months later our evening soiree was interrupted by the garda siochana (irish police) It was late and we had been drinking,and singing,in a graveyard.They decided to search us.Then one of 'em let out a scream like a girl .He dropped his torch and started hysterically beating my aforementioned collegue.the other officers did their best to pull him off and calm him down mystified by the intensity of his attack.Still shaking,(and sounding close to tears)he explained;
"That sick bastard had a dead-fucking-mouse in his pocket!"
(, Fri 9 Jan 2004, 15:48, Reply)
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