Might as well drag this one out, since this week has been won already - not a break-up as such, but a wonderful brush-off:
It was my first E, and I was loving every single second of every single thing about it. I was at a Reclaim The Streets gig in King's Cross, dancing my tits off - I was topless, skinny, and awesome.

A girl started rubbing my back, saying she was ... feeding off my aura or something. We started eating face, and continued to for ... however long. Cups of water interrupted us occasionally, I seem to remember.

Eventually her mates turned up, and standing around shufflingly, said "Er ... we're going back to Reading now ... "

She looked delighted to see them, and then turned to me with a look of embarrassment and dawning horror, and said, "Er ... I, er ... um ... right ... er ... I would invite you back to mine, but, like, er ... I've heard that sex binds two souls together and I don't know about you but I'm bound to some people I really wish I wasn't and, er ... well ... I'm going now, so, er ... bye!"

And off she went, leaving me to get up, and continue fuckin avin it until about 11am that morning.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 13:56, 4 replies)

"was it because your penis was too small"
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 13:58, closed)

That and my almost beautiful ugliness, I presume.
I rocked a wicked six-pack in those days, though.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 14:00, closed)

Fosters or Carling?

(Woodlouse say it with flowers. Send her a Triffid, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 16:15, closed)

Stella you pleb.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 16:39, closed)