lost it all
I moved from the US to Paris with no job just to be together with my girlfriend of 4 years who had gotten a year long job there. After a few months I ran out of money, and not having found anything to for work do as a non-French speaker, I moved back to the US and tried to start over, depressed, jobless, having sold my car and left my apartment before the trip, but at least I had the thought of carrying on for her to keep me going. Then she started seeing a Parisian guy and broke up with me.

I was so devastated at this point that I couldn't do anything- I stopped exercising, eating, going outside, had to rally all my strength to keep applying for work at all. I mostly just lay in bed, not even getting up to clean my place or go to the bathroom.

One day I woke up after not leaving the bed for some time, my bladder woefully engorged, and due to my morning tumescence and my position of repose, I actually ended up accidentally pissing into my own mouth.
( the prick of misery pierced my foot on a spiiiike on, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 5:14, 14 replies)

Oh, well played.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 8:04, closed)

Superb.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 8:21, closed)

A click for you, my dear Fuckclunge

( .Yeti., Fri 13 Sep 2013, 8:38, closed)

Back of the net!
net throat
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 8:49, closed)

*click*

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 10:34, closed)

brilliant

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 10:37, closed)

You are Bear Grylls
AICMFP
( pineapplecharm D d M Y, H:i, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:33, closed)

Tish
You lived in Paris for several months and didn't bother learning French ? You lazy fuck.
(littlechav Suffering from too many red bulls since, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:55, closed)

*le belm*

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 12:15, closed)

Allez pousser un stylo bille en bas de votre coq vous putain nigaud.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 18:36, closed)

I think I speak for the class here when I say 'you fucking idiot'.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 19:31, closed)

This was among my first thoughts,
until I made the terrible mistake of reading to the end.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 20:33, closed)

THAT'S THE WAY THE CROISSANT CRUMBLES!

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 20:33, closed)

Now this is AWESOME!!!

(AWESOMEB0T meddling prick, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 16:31, closed)