Have a pea - I broke up with this chick a long time ago - so it's more relevant than Ringofmisserypuppets
Gummy Mummy

Remember that time when you could have sex with school girls and not be thought a pedo, you know, before you crossed the line from teen to twenties, mmmmmmmmmmmmmm……………….

Sorry,

Anyway, back at that time when I had a delightful, soft skinned, perky breasted year 12 student, and being the mighty stud I was with over 15000 fucks to my name, and 3 of them weren’t even in the solo class, I found that her ability for knob gobbling was just not up to that standard I had come imagine. Being the sensitive 19 year old male, drunk on his own testosterone, I fucking told her so, and left her in no doubt that she either shape up or it was out on your arse. Of course not really knowing what I was talking about I couldn’t provide any instruction on what I liked or give her tips on what needed to improve (in fact despite endless informal research of blow jobs via porn films in the proceeding years, I hadn’t even figured that the girls spit on the love wand as more moisture the better, but, my naivety is story for another day).

A few days later we met up for a night of sophisticated activity (she came to my place to watch telly and drink cheap wine) which culminated in heading to the bed room for a bit horizontal folk dancing, started with the most mind bending session of dirtying her knees. Of course I wanted to know how in the space of 3 days she had developed such skills that would get a golf ball through 9 yards of hosepipe, and she told me she had asked someone who pointed her in the right direction. I was too pleased with the process to ask more questions.

The following night we had dinner her at her place. Her Dad was working but, her old girl was home. I didn’t quite know how to respond when her mum asked me directly if I had any further issue with her daughter’s “dick sucking methods”.

As soon as I had my girl her on her own, I asked what the fuck she had said to her mum.

Apparently after my ultimatum she had a sit down with her mum and dad.
She had asked if they knew about sucking cocks, which apparently they did.


She had asked “what Dad liked” ,


and her mum had showed her.


With a carrot.

If the old girl hadn’t been a 120kg, ugly as fuck, Scottish harpy I might have had a crack at the master considering the action of the student.

Still explains why her old man smiled vacantly a lot.

Length, 8 inch girth and 13 inches long, fucking huge carrot.
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Sun 15 Sep 2013, 9:44, 10 replies)

Someone in this story
must have a pointy penis.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 15 Sep 2013, 10:08, closed)

Or one with green sprouty bits.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 15 Sep 2013, 11:50, closed)

mine was once on that's life because it looks a bit like a penis

(alright alright, Sun 15 Sep 2013, 11:56, closed)

Your mother?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 15 Sep 2013, 14:07, closed)

ha ha
...proper cliched coffee keyboard moment!
(dchurch bah, Mon 16 Sep 2013, 10:32, closed)

or a blunt ended carrot
see - lateral thinking, clever ey?
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Mon 16 Sep 2013, 1:11, closed)

You might want to see a doctor about that.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 16 Sep 2013, 8:40, closed)

No, I don't remember that time.

( clockworkrat has nice pants, Mon 16 Sep 2013, 0:05, closed)

That's what Rolf Harris said too

(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Mon 16 Sep 2013, 1:12, closed)

Gay
Gay gay gay
(Eukanuba, Mon 16 Sep 2013, 2:08, closed)