I've been in the USA for about 6 years now
Most spectacular fuck up I can think of, is wondering why everyone referenced Incredible Debbie, when my wife was buying stuff.

After a few months understanding the accent, turns out they were saying 'credit or debit?'

Yeah I felt like a tit. Other than that, I look a chump counting out dollars as they all look the fucking same, have been told to 'fuck off back where I came from' by amusing rednecks, and found the local hippie grocery sells Crunchie bars which is nice.

Had one face tatted skin head ask me about 'the white mans struggle' in the UK, so I made up a bunch of lies about how everyone has to read in Urdu now, all road signs are in Arabic, and the kids have to read the Koran in school instead of the King James Bible. Daft cunt cried a racist tear.

Also portions are far too fucking big, and the chocolate and bacon is shite.

The reams of medicinal cannabis (MASSIVE DRUGS!) and the fact my town only has 6000 odd people in it, and the weather, and my mother fucking salt water pool, 5.79377274 × 10^20 liters worth of salt water baby is well huge (..well OK its the pacific ocean, but that counts right?) make up for it tho.

*edit*

Last year I got hit by a car for looking the wrong way when crossing a 4 lane highway whilst drunk, on a mission to score more beers from the local garage. Do not like these massive roads.

I defaulted to the Green Cross Code and took a Chevy to the mid section. Still made it home with the beers tho, pretty sure it bruised something important.
(yeswehavenopasties, Fri 25 Apr 2014, 0:40, 10 replies)

ditto on the food
I went to Pennsylvania in the 90s and found Hershey's chocolate reminded me of the childhood misadventure when I tried eating a lump of lard 'cos I thought it'd taste like butter. The level of surprise was about the same.

I also made the mistake of ordering a pizza based on the size of the illustrative pizza tray that was hung on the wall. A sensible idea when you're not sat at the opposite side of the restaurant from said trays.

I read somewhere that US bacon is glazed... is that actually true?
(squigbobble existed, Fri 25 Apr 2014, 11:57, closed)

the bacon
does seem a bit shiny now you mention it. Shiny and always crunchy.
(yeswehavenopasties, Fri 25 Apr 2014, 21:10, closed)

Ah yes
Brings back memories of "WTF?" when eating Hershey's for the first time. Do Americans who go on holiday to Europe bring back vast quantities of chocolate, or do they, on the contrary, think European chocolate tastes bizarre?
( .Yeti., Fri 25 Apr 2014, 12:05, closed)

I haven't noticed any of the people from the Yankee office at work doing that
They're probably disappointed by the relatively low lipid content.
(squigbobble existed, Fri 25 Apr 2014, 13:45, closed)

Hershey's make Cadbury choc here
It tastes like Cadbury's you get in England.
( Snollock Biffer I don't really sniff Bollocks, Fri 25 Apr 2014, 18:37, closed)

a small mercy
or a concession to the superiority of British chocolate?
(squigbobble existed, Fri 25 Apr 2014, 19:05, closed)

American chocolate is full of additives to stop it melting in Southern States
Which is why it tastes so awful and why any fat ex-pat you're going to visit there asks you to take chocolate over.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 26 Apr 2014, 18:15, closed)

Is it true that they put maple syrup on bacon?

(IHateSprouts is baking a huge pie shaped like an enormous pie, Fri 25 Apr 2014, 17:57, closed)

Yes
And they have pancakes, maple syrup, bacon, sausages and eggs on the same plate. It is however surprisingly palatable.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 25 Apr 2014, 19:32, closed)

yeah it's quite tasty to be fair. Bit of an eyeball popper when you see it first tho.
(yeswehavenopasties, Fri 25 Apr 2014, 21:11, closed)