betrayal within betrayal
when i was 16, my family went on holiday to turkey. having a serious dislike of flying, coupled with a tendency to burn in even mild sun and an intolerance of temperatures over 25 degrees celsius, it was decided that i would stay behind to guard the family fortress for 2 weeks. i promised my parents faithfully that i wouldn't have any parties.
that promise lasted a whole 6 hours.
a bunch of my mates arrived as soon as they were stocked up with booze and we proceeded to trash the place. for 9 days, my house was party central. people i didn't even know were turning up with booze and weed, looking for somewhere to cut loose. i knew things were getting out of control, but it was awesome.
on day 10, i fell ill with the 'flu. my sister's friend had been invited by my parents to stay with me and promised to take care of me while i was ill.
now, i only get the 'flu about once every 10 years but, when i do, i get a fever so high that i hallucinate. i'm totally out of it for 3 days. i was relying on my sister's mate to keep things together for me.
day 14, 6 hours before the family were due home, i woke up fully dressed in a bath full of cold water, clutching the taps. i had no idea how i'd got there and my sister's mate was nowhere to be found. the house was a complete wreck and all my so-called friends had scarpered, leaving me to set things to rights myself.
dear readers, i cleaned like i've never cleaned before. beds were stripped and remade, floors were swept, hoovered, mopped and scrubbed, the kitchen was attacked with martha stewart-like zeal. i even managed to get the stains off the couch. i still felt like death, but at least the place was clean.
half an hour before my family got back, sister's friend turned up, full of apologies. supposedly, she'd been to sort a few things out with her father. she told me she hadn't let anyone in whilst i'd been ill, but hadn't been able to clean as she was ill herself.
funny, she didn't look ill to me.
when the family got home, it took mum almost 5 minutes to find something to yell at me for. it took her 5 hours to stop, though. as the house was still standing, i was let off pretty lightly.

2 days later, i was facing a furious mother, who accused me of running a brothel in her absence. it seems that, when i was sick, sister's friend had been screwing my brother's friends all over the house, including in my parents' bed. despite my protestations of innocence, mum didn't believe a word i said.
it took 10 years for them to trust me to look after the house alone again.
still, it was worth it.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 3 Dec 2010, 18:53, 4 replies)

If I ever have kids
I'll kill them and leave their bodies in a cupboard before going on holiday rather than let them party in the house in my absence...
(rampants, Mon 6 Dec 2010, 15:32, closed)

you say that now...

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 0:39, closed)

uh
if you tidied, why did your mum accuse you of running a brothel?
(DjArcas, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 18:50, closed)

because
my brother's friends tol him they'd all been shagging my sisdter's mate in our house. he, of course, couldn't wait to tell my mum.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 8 Dec 2010, 21:49, closed)