I just managed to escape from your mum over the weekend.
So guess what?
I wrote a poem about her.....

YOUR MUM
--------

Your mum is round and blubbery
Rotund, robust and rubbery,
Her features crap and corpulent,
The stupid fucking ugly cunt.

Her nose is ugly, vile and chubby
Her chin is greasy, flat and stubby,
She looks just like a docklands barge,
Dull and drab and very large.

Her head promotes vile juddering,
Her chins never cease shuddering,
Her body mass is very great,
Her shadow, too, is overweight.

Her body is quite very crap,
Surplus excess of body fat,
Must put a strain on feet and knees,
Being that morbidly obese.

Her ankles, chunky, terrible,
Veins: varicose and horrible,
Just like that song by Rick astley,
She’s nauseating, rank and ghastly.

She looks disgusting, such a mess,
A congealed mass of random flesh,
That solid hefty heffalump,
With spongy brain and doughy rump.

Her intellect is minimal,
Her iQ quite subliminal,
Her breath smells quite insidious,
Grotesque and vile and hideous.

Her proximity generates revulsion,
and from my stomach - lunch propulsion,
Her DNA an abstract error,
Her aura one of fear and terror.

She’s jobless, poor and destitute,
Looks like an old age prostitute,
She generates an awful smell,
But then again, you do, as well.
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 8:03, 7 replies)

First line of fourth verse is terrible and lets the whole thing down.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 8:17, closed)

It was the only line that made me smile.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 10:50, closed)

I genuinely don't understand how people can be so terrible at putting together a simple rhyme.
Is it like the poetic equivalent of being tone deaf or the tennis equivalent of being a massive spastic?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 8:22, closed)

Yes!
That's EXACTLY how I play tennis!
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 10:49, closed)

Come on, Tim!

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 10:58, closed)

this does not scan.
you can't change your meter halfway through a verse.

3/10, see me afterwards.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 10:02, closed)

He's already seen you Janet
Thats why he wrote the poem
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 11:39, closed)