Vale Fluffy
I was slow to the whole First Car thing, mainly because I'd been driving on a farm since I was 9 which diminished the novelty, and because my Dad was adamant that I didn't need a car if I moved to a flat near Uni. Which was great if the only place I ever needed to go was Uni, but less great if I had to go into town to buy groceries, or go to work. I'm amazed that I managed with irregular buses and shanks pony until I was 22.

My patience and stupidity gave me the chance to save up for my first car, a 1996 Hyundai Excel, for which I paid the gargantuan sum of $6000 AUD. She was all tinted windows and no aircon. I was now able to travel halfway across the state to visit my parents, and make the occasional adventure to Melbourne, which was AMAAH-ZING! I even drove to Wagga Wagga once, just because I could. I was young, single, and unencumbered, and driving was still fun.

And then Fluffy, for that was my car's name, met her tragic and violent demise. On the freeway, doing 110km, heading home from Melbourne in 2006, I was overtaken by a B Double. I'm not sure what happened - either the truck clipped my car as it pulled out, or one of my rear tires popped. Fluffy surged forward, her gearbox screaming that fifth gear was not sufficiently fast enough to match the speed of her wheels. I instinctively braked and she fishtailed, sailing back and forth across both lanes, before sliding of the left side of the road, through an electric fence, and down into a paddock. She rolled three times before she stopped moving.

Four vehicles pulled up on the side of the road to check how dead I was, for which I am immensely grateful. I was hanging upside down in my seatbelt, and the weight of my body meant that the clip couldn't detach from the socket. A very stunned truckie had to reach in and unclip me. He then poured his water bottle over the engine to try and cool it down so that the dry grass didn't catch on fire. Another couple called me an ambulance. I asked the truckie if we could roll the car back onto its wheels, because I had 2 hours of driving left to get home, and I had work in the morning. He didn't realise how serious I was, thank god.

I had a tiny scratch on my right neck, from the seatbelt, and a tiny hole in my good slacks, where they caught on the underside of the dash while I was hanging upside down. I should have been thoroughly dead, or at least very badly injured.

I have a photo of poor Fluffy after the accident, but I don't know how to append it to this post.

(Boodicka, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 8:45, 16 replies)

<img src="url of your picture here" />
See, I'm not always a cunt.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 9:59, closed)

Aw, thankyou for helping! My photo is on my desktop, though, not on my internets.
(Boodicka, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 11:00, closed)

If only somebody had invented imgur or one of the countless image hosting services.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 11:18, closed)

Thanks for your patience, and sarcastic prompting! My head cold made this seem like the most difficult thing mankind has ever accomplished, but I have finally attached the image.
(Boodicka, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 11:45, closed)

Someone should tell Misery McObsessedwithme that THAT is how you ruin a car.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 11:59, closed)

In fairness
The pic where you can see what happened to her face is fairly horrific.
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Wed 10 Jul 2013, 12:15, closed)

That's the 'before' picture.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 12:31, closed)

I've had a whiny gaz from him about this.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 20:16, closed)

See.
That's why I gazzed you.

Rather than conduct what is essential a disagreement between you and I in this thread.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 10 Jul 2013, 21:34, closed)

What on earth are you on about?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 21:56, closed)

He's probably had another 18 hour session of internet crying and is just warming up for another dreary breakdown.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:03, closed)

Ahhh... Wagga Wagga.
My mate got infected by one of your lot and has emigrated over to Oz, specifically he went to Wagga Wagga, where he has now sired several children.

It's tantamount to child abuse.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 13:13, closed)

Don't be silly
Wagga Wagga's not a real place, it's fictional like Timbuktu or Kuala Lumpar
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 13:56, closed)

Fictional like freedom of speech
Right, kids?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 14:11, closed)

Is Woy Woy real though?

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 14:30, closed)

He's a wobber.
And a wapist.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 14:34, closed)

And
a pickpocket
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 0:35, closed)

This is why we drive squashy cars with crumple zones...
... and not big rigid-chassis SUVs that transmit all the force of the accident directly to the squashy occupant's squashy internal organs.

A mate of mine in the ambulance service told me they leave checking SUVs to last at an accident scene, because if the people inside didn't get out by themselves there's really no rush to get them out any more.
(gordonjcp, Wed 10 Jul 2013, 16:00, closed)