Karate Kid without 'The Crane'
Leroy was one of my best friends at primary school. Back then halfcast was a term that was quite acceptable and the dried dog poo we dodged on the way to school was white.

He came to all my birthday parties, we went to the 'adventure playground' deep within the council estate together, he had Panthro and the Thundertank, I had Lion-O and the Sword of Omens.

I know the day he turned. A bunch of about 6 kids doing a ring'a'roses style circle around him, chanting the racist version of Ibble-obble. I stood at a distance and watched. I wanted to do something but didn't know what I could do.

I'd like to think that if I'd intervened he might have turned out different. But I was 10 or 11'ish and had already received a smack in the mouth from Adrian. To this day I can be a bit to C.L.I.T.O.R.I.S. for my own liking (for the Red Dwarf fans).
The dinner ladies were deliberately ignorant of what was going on.

Between then and secondary school, Karate Kid was a HUGE film. Every kid took up karate, including myself.

But Leroy had taken up karate about a year before everyone else and he was kicking arse. He was Bully Prime of our secondary school. He was Johnny of Cobra Kai.

Despite me being a former best friend, I quickly became just another target for his hostility. He gained two cronies, Stephen and Brendan (another 'best friend' of mine) and would try and duff me (and several others) up during lunch hour using his ninja skills. But I actually found my own karate skills came in to play!

I spent entire lunches practising blocks, and nothing but blocks, against the bastard. I kept waiting for my Daniel-san moment, where he would pause to weigh me up and I would assume The Crane position and kick the c*nt to kingdom come. It never happened. The whistle went and we all went in.

The day it all stopped was when Aaron fought back. Aaron was that big, strapping, softy that everyone has been to school with. Not too bright, good at rugby (because of his size) but with no natural aggression. The kind of lad that should be named 'Mungo'.

I was there the day Leroy tried a roundhouse on Aaron whilst we lined up, waiting to go in to English. I guess Leroy thought decking the biggest kid in the school would secure his status as Bully Prime. Leroy hit at chest height and Aaron didn't even shudder.

With a blank face Aaron lunged the few feet between himself and his aggressor, raising Leroy off the floor by his shirt and collar. Leroy ineffectually punched Aaron/Mungo in the ribs several times before finding himself hanging from a coat hook in the corridor.

Did anyone say anything? No. We all walked past him in to class, the more picked on bravely punching him in the goolies on the way past.

To this day I'm confused on how I feel about this. He deserved the goolie ragging he received, but I'm still a little bit C.L.I.T.O.R.I.S.
(Big Smurf Brush me daddy-O, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:34, Reply)