She's lucky she's so pretty
I work with a girl who we'll call Dolly. Dolly is wonderfully nice, pretty as can be, and has a great body. So naturally, Dolly is quite slow sometimes. Truth be told, most of the time. Because of this, my friend Tom and I have a running competition to see who can convince her of the most ridiculous bullshit. Thus far, we've convinced her of the following:

The Jews have never been a part of any war, ever.

Jack the Ripper was a famous circus performer whose act involved ripping in half things you wouldn't think someone could rip in half, like phone books and metal pipes.

And once when she asked me where to find the single serving packets of crisps, I convinced her that the crisp company reserves those size bags for rest stops, and that I paid a premium to the grocery manager at the store to special order them for me. I allegedly have a box in back reserved for me, prepaid, that I can pick up at any time. Also got the grocery manager to give her a price quote when she ran into him.

Considering how generally awesome a person she is (she really doesn't seem to comprehend that anyone could mislead her, and in several years I've not once seen her do anything mean or selfish at work), Tom and I are fairly certain that this is just earning us a few more ranks up in hell.
( Ithyphallophobia, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 18:22, Reply)