Aha, I forgot this guy.
An unreformed 70s British Leyland worker who had, by tenacity of never being spotted NOT doing work, elevated up the Rover/Land Rover manufacturing ladder just because after a number of years in service and a fake bad back which lasted for 8 months and 30 days at a time (9 months and you were called in for a compulsory examination by the comapny doctor) would then grudgingly go back into work for 3 months until he could once again claim a 8mth 30 days 'holiday'.

As he couldn't do track work he was moved into engineering despite having nothing other than practical assembly skills but also a remarkable ability to steal anything you needed from trackside for use on a prototype vehicle, he was invited to join our team.

So in our capacity we had M. as a co-engineer for fixing and updating prototype fleet vehicles. Sometimes it would be just one or two cars, sometimes a whole series (like the Press Cars for example). So M. would vanish for half a day, driving from JLR Engineering to LR at Gaydon and back, with a laptop with the intention of updating a vehicle.

Day 1 - Came back, 'Couldn't do the job, the laptop died and I didn't have a power lead'
Day 2 - Came back, 'Couldn't do the job, didn't have the diagnostic lead with me'
Day 3 - Came back, 'Couldn't do the job, someone else had the CAN card vehicle interface'
Day 4 - Came back, 'Couldn't do the job, The software files weren't on the computer'
Day 5 - Came back, 'Couldn't do the job, vehicle had a flat battery so couldn't program it'
Day 6 - Came back, 'Couldn't do the job, got the software files but they were corrupt'
Day 7 - Came back, 'Couldn't do the job, got the laptop, fully charged, got the software, the interface card, the diagnostic lead, the car had a good battery on it. I forgot my glasses and couldn't read the laptop screen.'

BUT! when a big fleet upgrade was needed and there was a whiff of overtime in the air, all of a sudden 'unsupervised weekend work' he'd be over it like a rash, claiming the neccessarry use of a fleet vehicle and fuel card instead of using his own car. Come Monday Morning it was all 'yeah, I did 16-hour shifts so at time and a half means I don't have to come into work all this week, see you next monday'.

BUT!! (2) at least when your task was to get a car back on the road after someone from Marketing put diesel in a petrol V8 and you needed a foursome of oxygen sensors, he would fuck off and mysteriously turn up a couple of hours later with a bag full of zirconia devices and a refreshing lack of shipping paperwork.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 13 Jan 2011, 21:48, Reply)